What Really, Truly, Finally Happened.
Okay, for the record, this isn't really truly what happened, but roll with me here, I'm just filling in a gap for my mind of something I will never know.
It's a simple Georgia night. And I get to spend it looking up at the stars with Mason. It's so perfect, but it's not.
You see, he's my best friend. He's who I turn to. He's practically my boyfriend.
And there's the problem. "Practically."
He's not officially my boyfriend. Yet.
But really, we do everything like we were dating.
He just hasn't decided I'm worth it yet I guess.
Don't get me wrong. This isn't a hopeless crush, where the other person wants to stay friends.
I mean, come on. A guy like Mason isn't going to spend a gorgeous summer night with just anyone. Yet laying here on this picnic blanket, it's just him and me.
It's not that he's some super popular guy that the girls line up to date. Actually, he just has a lot of fun being himself. So he has a lot of friends.
He runs around all day like crazy. He's a ringleader, a nut job if I was to be blunt. But it's all a show.
On nights like these, I know what a sweetheart he is. He just lays peacefully on the blanket beside me, arm around me.
I'm in a little bubble, just enough room for the two of us.
But, no matter where my imagination takes me, I have to remember that we're 20 feet from the inside of his house, his family buzzing around, not understanding this moment at all.
I wish we could be more. It could look the same, but it wouldn't be the same at all.
Right now, we're two friends, stargazing.
But we could just as easily be that cute couple, cuddling on a blanket watching the stars at night.
See the difference?
But we're not about to be anything. It's too late. We've been best friends for too long.
We just take on life together, knocking out all possibilities of a real relationship.
At least that's what I tell myself.
We're so different. We're three years apart. I'm quiet, he's…. not.
But deep down, I sincerely want to go farther.
I should really be happy for what we have. We're both teenagers. Busy as you would figure.
But we're also both dedicated Christians. Giving us a rock to lean on. It feels safer there, knowing that one common ground that I know we can always have.
As Mason points out a made up constellation to me, I giggle and start to think. Well, more thinking than I was already doing.
There's really so much potential tonight.
I can feel it.
With right now.
It could happen.
It's a perfect night for such a sugar sweet dream to come true.
For finally to finally come.
Of course, I've only wished this a thousand times.
Even though it's my fault that this isn't a romantic evening with him as much as it's his. But it's easier to pretend it's his fault.
"HEY MASON!" I hear a small voice yell. It was his six year old brother Ben. Go figure. He turns around, annoyed.
"ARE THESE YOUR SOCKS?" He asked, waving them high in the air.
"BEN! Those are Megan's socks! Leave us alone!"
"OKAY!" He almost turned around, but ended up saying, "AND MOMMA SAID TO HAVE FUN WITH YOUR GIRLY FRIEND!"
I raised an eyebrow. But before either of us could say anything, I heard his Mom yell, "BEN! I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO SAY THAT! LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE!"
"Fine!" He muttered, and went back inside. I rolled my eyes and turned around to flop back down on the blanket, but Mason looked at his phone and said,
"Oh, it's getting late!" He paused.
"Mind if I walk you home?"
It was about ten minutes to my house. Ten minutes I would be looking forward to if he was walking me.
"Please." I grinned, and as we stood up, he rolled the blanket into a ball and threw it at the porch. Subtly, he took my hand as we walked out of his yard.
As the walk grew loner though, turning around streets and corners, I could see his other hand shaking. He wasn't as talkative as normal. He kept just looking at me, like he had something to say, but didn't want to say it. We turned onto my street, and I felt my heart race almost as much as I could hear his.
And I knew.
I knew that for the better or for the worse, this was going to be the night everything was going to change.