A/N: Chapter Ten! ERMEHGERD! DIS IS SO AMAZING!
Ok, I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages, but I have a valid reason – my computer crashed. I'm sorry – I'm crap at updating. But here you go now, so review please! Let's hit the 50 review mark!
New peeps: Algebra: Le Chinese dude who's super amazing at Maths but is dumb at life.
Smiley: J.C's twin sister - she's in my Art and she's, like, always smiling.
(Yeah, JC is a twin. I kinda forgot to mention that. LAWL.
(Learning about mutually exclusive events)
Teacher: So if I flipped a coin, I couldn't get heads and not heads at the same time, could I? Of course, some idiot's gonna say "But what if the coin landed on a really really sharp laser and sliced perfectly in half?" No! I don't care! Shut up and go away!
Girl 1: OMG One Direction's new single Little Things is coming out in 17 hours!
Girl 2: What's a single?
Girl 1: A song.
Girl 2: Who's it by?
Girl 1: One Direction!
Girl 2: What's it called?
Girl 1: Little Things.
Girl 2: How does it go?
Everyone: IT HASN'T COME OUT YET! WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS!
Me: So what time will your mum be home?
Moony: From 3pm to about – uh, the rest of the day.
(Moony starts drinking from her Sprite can)
Me: Until midnight, when she goes out to do witchy stuff.
Moony: SPRRRFFFFFFF(spits Sprite all over herself in hysterical laughter)
(Me, Moony and Psychopath talking about how much we hate Mitt Romney)
Moony: Did you know they did a news article on what type of hair gel he uses?
Me: WTF? He's like, 60!
Moony: And he has no reasoning behind his plans! He's just like, "I'm gonna produce all this money out of nowhere and use it to do a whole bunch of stuff!
Psychopath: He's like "Let's print a whole bunch of new money and lower the value of the dollar and put my whole country into recession, and then I can BUY MORE HAIR GEL!
Red: Nero, I'm gonna buy you a new twink.
Me: What did you do to it?
Red: I dropped it, and it broke. (holds up a jumbled mess of tape)
Whole Class: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Me: WTF GUYS? WHY?!
(Teacher explaining why the human brain is much more powerful than calculators)
Teacher: And you put this equation in, and the calculator just goes "NO! ERROR!ERROR! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
In Social Studies:
Me: Autocorrect on my iPod is a fail. It changed "woah" to "slag".
Psychopath: Yeah? Well my iPod changed "pineapple juice" to "vagina juice". I was emailing my friend going"Hey, do you wanna go to the mall to get some pineapple juice," and it changed it to "Hey, do you wanna go to the mall to get some vagina juice". Like, what the fuck?"
Moony: Apparently you and Li'l Blondie a secretly dating.
Me: (splutters) WHAT THE FUCK
Moony: (laughing) In Art, him and this other boy were arguing about who knows you better, and the other guy was like,"Me and Nero are besties" and Li'l Blondie was like, "No, me and Nero are besties. We've been through this!" and the other guy was like "I know her better," and Li'l Blondie was like"Well, me and her are secretly dating!"
Me: I WAS NOT ALERTED OF THIS FACT.
Teacher: Psychopath, you're offside!
Psychopath: (mutters) Oh sorry, but I don't have any more fucks to give. Let me go home and get some more.
Me: I wanna be a pickle.
Moony: Uh... why?
Me: Life would be so much easier. No more feelings and boy/girl stuff and all that jazz. I could just walk around going I'M A PICKLE!
Me: (strokes really long imaginary beard and twirls finger at end.
Smiley: Nero, what are you doing?
Me: Stroking an imaginary beard. Duh.
Smiley: What's up with the twirly thing at the end then?
Me: The wispy parts! You know, on Dumbledores beard it get's really wispy at the end? Well on mine, I twirl it so it's neatly curled like a corkscrew.
Smiley: (in hysterics) You are insane.
Me: (deadpanning) The sky's blue, I'm insane, what else is new?
JC: Netball is as fun as fuck.
Me: (raises eyebrows) You saying fucking is fun?
LATER IN PE:
Teacher: Next goal gets ONE MILLION POINTS!
JC: (deadpanning) Well, that escalated quickly.
In Social Studies:
Tonks: (talking about her ex) He has a TWIN!
Tonks: I KNOW!
JC: I HAVE A TWIN!
Me: (sarcastically) Really?
JC: Yeah - wait, was that sarcasm?
Me: NO SHIT!
JC: THAT was sarcasm. Wasn't it?
A/N: REVIEW! IT'S THE ONLY WAY I KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS! I'M NOT THE MENTALIST (Contrary to popular belief) :):):) ~Nero xx