im half asleep but mostly awake

most of my belongings are packed up in light brown boxes outside

its dark and im avoiding

questions unintentionally

listening to my fan while i think about


and misleading things

like laying on the couch with my mom watching tv shows

drinking water


making poetry out of random occurrences and hating myself

for doing that

wanting pink lights and floral comforters and collages and loneliness without being alone

smelling good and teeth that feel bumpy

dream of sleep so good i won't wake up