Liz's Sperm Donor (PG-13)

Liz knocked on my office door. I glanced up from my desk and waved her in as I doodled some notes while Crenshaw gave me information from the other end of the phone line.

Liz closed the door behind her and took a seat in the chair across from my desk. I held up my finger to indicate I'd be done in a minute and she patiently waited while I wrapped up the call.

"Sorry about that," I said when I finally hung up. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you'd do me a favor, Joe," she said.

"Sure, you know I'd do anything for you," I grinned.

We'd been co-workers and fellow managers for five years. Liz Appleton was a valued member of the team and probably my closest friend and ally at the company.

"Jane and I have decided to get pregnant," Liz announced happily.

"Well, congratulations!" I said with enthusiasm. "That's great."

"We've been talking about it for a while," she said.

"I know. But you still promise not to quit, right?"

"No, Jane will be the stay at home mom," Liz confirmed. "But I'm going to carry the baby."

"Right," I remarked. "You're more physically able."

"Jane had a hysterectomy," Liz reminded me.

"Of course," I recalled. "Naturally, you would have to be the one."

"So, would you be able to help us out?" Liz wanted to know.

"You mean cover for you while you're out?" I asked. "Yes, of course."

"Joe, that's at least nine months away," Liz groaned. "I was talking about helping us out now."

"What can I do for you?" I asked eagerly.

"Well, we need someone to father our baby," Liz replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh?" I said with surprise, sitting back in my chair. "I just assumed you'd being going to a sperm bank or something."

"Too risky," Liz replied. "We want to know who the father is. Make sure we have the health history. Family history. We want to choose someone we like and value and respect and know would pass on good genes and hereditary strengths."

"Well, yes, of course you would," I said.

"So, would you be interested?" Liz asked hopefully.

"Interested in what?" I asked with confusion.

"In being our sperm donor, silly!" Liz laughed.

I turned red in the face. "You want me to be the father of your child?"

"Yes," Liz answered quickly. "I can't think of a better candidate."

"Gee, Liz, I'm flattered," I said. "But this is sort of weird."

"Come on, Joe, I've brought up artificial insemination with you plenty of times."

"Those were just 'in theory' conversations," I protested. "I didn't know you were serious."

"Well, I was," she replied, studying me with a sober look on her face. "I'm sort of counting on you."

My jaw dropped. "Seriously?"

She smiled. "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

"You really want me to be the father of your baby?"

"Yes, you're the one," she assured me.

I felt myself blush. "This is a real honor," I told her. "Really, I'm flattered that you would think of me, Liz, and want me to do this but I'm not sure if I could handle knowing I had a kid out there."

"You could be a part of his or her life," Liz offered. "Uncle Joe?"

"This is crazy," I remarked, getting out of my chair and pacing back and forth behind the desk. "Does Jane know about this?"

"Of course."

"I mean about me being the father?"

"Yes, she thinks it's a good idea," Liz replied proudly. "She likes you. She thinks you're nice. She knows you've been great to me."

I sat against the window sill and faced her. "You'd really pick me?"

"You're the nicest guy I know, Joe," she said. "You're my best friend. You're in good health and you come from a good family. Yes, I want you to be the father."

"So what do I have to do?" I sighed. "Go to the hospital and beat off in a cup?"

"No, I want to do it the natural way," Liz announced.


"Listen, I've been researching all this and talking to people," she told me. "The artificial insemination success rate depends on lots of stuff. Intra-cervical insemination has a 10 to 15% chance of pregnancy per menstrual cycle. Intrauterine insemination has a better chance of pregnancy at 15 to 20% per menstrual cycle but there is about 60 to 70% greater chance of pregnancy by intrauterine insemination after about six cycles."

"Well, getting knocked up the first time the natural way is pretty slim too," I remarked.

"I've been monitoring my ovulation cycle pretty good," Liz bragged. "I'm pretty sure I could hit a home run on the first pitch!"

"Wait a minute," I said, returning to my seat and staring at her. "Are you really saying that you want to… it…with me?"

"Purely for reproductive purposes," she clarified.

"Well, that makes me feel wanted," I grumbled.

"Oh, come on," Liz groaned. "You know I care about you."

"I've never made love to a woman who wasn't physically attracted to me before," I admitted.

"I'm emotionally attracted to you, Joe," she replied.

"Are you sure you want to do it this way?"

"The artificial insemination procedures involve using a thin catheter that is inserted inside," she said with a shutter. "It sounds so medical, so procedural. So detached and impersonal. And as you said you'd have to collect your semen in a sterile container and have it 'introduced' into me and then we'd have to wait and see if fertilization occurred and then do it all over again if it didn't. It just sounds cold to me."

"I guess," I agreed.

Liz pulled out her blackberry. "So, Friday night is when I'll be at the peek of my ovulation cycle," she announced. "It works out great because Jane is going out of town on a girl's night thing with some of her friends. We can have dinner at the Sun Rise Lake Inn and then get a room upstairs."

"I thought Jane might be a part of this," I said.

"What, you mean like a threesome?" Liz asked, raising her eyebrows. "I never considered that." She shook her head. "Jane would never go for that. But she's given me permission to have sex with you, strictly for reproductive purposes. She really wants us to have a baby."

"Obviously," I said sarcastically.

"So, you'll do it?" She asked with excitement.

I stared at Liz with disbelief. "Doesn't this strike you as odd?"

"I want a kid, Joe," Liz replied with open honesty and sincerity. "It's what Jane and I want, together. Are you going to help us out or not?"

I rubbed my chin in deep consideration. "You trust me?"


"You're not worried about what could happen down the road?"

"Would you mind signing a contract?" She asked sheepishly.

"What kind of contract?" I frowned.

"Giving up your biological and legal rights," she muttered with embarrassment.

"I thought you said you trusted me emphatically!?" I couldn't help but feel hurt.

"This just protects all of us, Joe," she explained. "We can't risk having you change your mind and sue for custody or something."

"So the baby would never know who his or her father is," I sighed sadly.

"But you could be the best uncle around."

"It doesn't feel right," I confessed. "I don't know how I'm going to feel knowing it's my kid."

"I can respect and honor that," Liz said with a heavy sigh as she stood up. "We wouldn't make you do something you weren't comfortable with. It's just that….." her voice broke. "Well, I guess we are asking too much."

I saw the tears in her eyes as she started for the door.

"Liz, wait," I said, standing.

She turned and faced me, wiping a tear from her eye.

"You're my best friend," I told her, giving her a hug once I walked out from behind the desk. "I want you to be happy. I want you to have what would make you happy."

"So, you'll do it?" Liz asked.

"Yeah, I'll do it. I know how important this is to you and I'm honored to be apart of it."

"Oh, Joe, thank you so much," Liz gushed, hugging me so tightly I thought I was going to break. "I'll always be so grateful to you."

She kissed me on the cheek and left the office.


I have to admit I was crushed when I found out what Liz's sexual preference was. We had been working together for a few months and we got along well, not just as co-workers but as friends. She was attractive, smart, talented, and we hit it off. I looked forward to coming to work everyday just to be around her.

I was between relationships at the time and as we continued to gel and spark as co-workers I thought about the possibility of asking Liz out. But then it was time for the office Christmas party and who does Liz walk in with? Jane. At first I thought maybe they were friends (or even sisters) but as the night progressed I saw them flirting with one another, locked in each others arms, holding hands, and even kissing at one point and I realized what was going on.

I felt foolish for being so naïve and disappointed that Liz was 'unavailable' but after a few days I got over it because I realized that Liz was a terrific person and I was honored to be a friend of hers.

Liz eventually introduced me to Jane and we eventually hit it off pretty good too. Jane wasn't as bubbly and outgoing as Liz but she was friendly and down to earth and level headed and they made a good couple. I could tell they were really attracted to one another and happy together.

Of course, word got around the office that Liz was 'a dyke' 'a lesbo' and all the rest of it and some of my male colleagues were real jerks in their attitude although they learned not to be insulting of her in front of me because I wouldn't take that crap.

Their homophobic and sexist attitudes made me realize just how narrow minded guys could be.

"What a waste of a perfectly fine piece of ass," Donaldson said one day as he watched Liz walk down the hall.

Couldn't they just see her as a good person and talented co-worker instead of as a sex object? Yes, I was being a semi-hypocrite since I had also had lustful feelings for her and found her to be physically appealing but the difference was I got over it and moved on, accepting Liz as a friend and valuing her as a person while most of the guys saw her as a lost chance and a waste of prime real estate.

I spent the next few days thinking about my Friday night with Liz. I liked her a lot and I wanted to be a good friend but the whole having sex with her for reproductive reasons still struck me as squirmy. I liked having sex for the emotional and physical reasons and, because I wasn't married or in a serious relationship where we considered having kids, I never thought about that aspect of it. Now I was going to make a baby and that reality gave sex a whole different meaning and feeling for me.

Liz didn't act any differently toward me as the week progressed. She still came into my office to ask questions about particular accounts or to shoot the breeze as we always did. She never mentioned our Friday night 'date' and if she was feeling nervous about it or having second thoughts she didn't say anything.

I was definitely having second thoughts and feeling nervous. I was feeling responsible about bringing a new life into the world even if I wasn't to have to claim to the baby. And I was certainly feeling nervous about having intimate relations with my best friend for biological reasons only. Sex had never felt as impersonal to me as it did as I pondered the approaching Friday night.

I was never into meaningless one night stands or casual sex. I was serious and passionate about my lovemaking and I wanted to be with women who cared about me, were attracted to me, and wanted to be with me the same why I cared about them, were attracted to them and wanted to be with them.

I knew Liz cared about me as a friend but I wasn't sure if that was enough. On the other hand, I had always been attracted to her even when she became unavailable and I wanted to be her friend so how could I turn down her request? This was a special and meaningful event that was going to make her and Jane very happy. If Liz wasn't worried about it I decided that shouldn't freak out about it either.

Friday finally arrived and I found myself feeling edgy all day. I couldn't recall having a pre-set "appointment" for a sexual encounter before and the closer it got to five o'clock the more anxious I became. Sex was supposed to be spontaneous not pre-planned, or at least that's how I felt.

Liz didn't seem to be all that concerned as the day progressed. We sat in on a meeting together and she was her same professional self. Actually, she seemed more radiant and happy than usual. Later in the afternoon, she stuck her head in my door.

"I'll drive tonight," she announced. "No point taking two cars."

So, we were still going.

A little after five o'clock, Liz returned to my office.

"Okay, ovulation countdown has begun," she teased. "Let's get going!"

"This is the craziest thing I've done in my life," I told her as I turned off my computer and collected my briefcase.

"I know," she agreed.

We left the office and I followed Liz to her car. I noticed a small overnight bag in the backseat and I realized that I hadn't brought anything. Was this going to be a half hour wham-bam-thank you ma'm event or an all night marathon? I wasn't sure what she was thinking or planning. I really hadn't thought too much beyond the idea of having planned sex.

We drove the ten miles or so to Sun Rise Lake, chatting effortlessly about work stuff mostly to avoid the subject at hand I'm sure. I was feeling nostalgic when we arrived at the lake, remembering my times there as a kid at the public beach and also my high school prom at the Inn where we were now at.

I had never checked in to the place before but there I stood at the front desk with Liz' overnight bag in my hand as she checked in, insisting on paying for the room since I was doing her the favor.

The room was quaint and comfortable, full of handsome paintings of lakeside landscapes with Victorian furniture occupying the room.

"Let's go eat," Liz said and we went back downstairs to the Inn's famously fancy dining room.

The hostess sat us in a romantic corner table overlooking the light which made Liz laugh.

"She probably thinks we're on our second honeymoon or something," Liz remarked.

"A weekend full of sex," I commented.

She nodded in agreement. "If it means getting pregnant."

She took the menu and began scanning it. "I've really changed my diet since Jane and I decided to get pregnant," she said. "I've been trying to eat foods that might help my chances of getting pregnant."

"Oh yeah?"

"Did you know that soybeans and foods made with them like tofu contain isoflavones?" She asked.

"What's that?"

"Plant compounds that help regulate reproductive hormone production and make ovulation more consistent," she explained. "See, it's the overall quality of my diet that matters when it comes to fertility."


"I've been paying particular attention to fulfilling my zinc and vitamins B6 and E requirements," she said. "Zinc is found in meat and seafood, vitamin B6 in poultry, and vitamin E is plentiful in nuts and seeds. Plus folic acid is critical through fortified cereal and orange juice."

"I didn't know that."

"You don't think I'm fat do you?" She worried.

"Of course not!" I laughed.

"Well, I've been eating more but I've been working out too because it's important to maintain a healthy weight," she told me. "Being too thin or too heavy can lessen odds of conceiving."

"You look great," I assured her.

I've been getting tofu and tempeh with salad toppers, soups and stir fries," she said proudly. "Plus plenty of fruits and vegetables because they have the vitamins and minerals to help meet my nutritional needs. I'm supposed to choose a range of colors like dark green, red, orange, white, yellow and purple to ingest a complete range of nutrients."

"Very good."

"Lean protein helps me consume healthy proteins while avoiding the saturated fats in beef so I've been eating beans, legumes and nuts, along with fish, turkey and chicken."

"Wow, you definitely have been eating!" I laughed.

"No more junk food, fast food or pizza," she said.

The waiter came and took our order. Liz ordered the raw oysters as an appetizer and then a garden salad, a fruit salad, a cup of clam chowder and the surf and turf for her entrée.

"You going to be able to eat all of that!?" I smirked.


I went with the prime rib.

"Of course, I've been focusing on the sex food all week," Liz giggled once the waiter was gone.

I almost gagged on my glass of water. "Sex food?"

"There are some foods that provide essential fuel to spark one's sexual appetite and increase the libido," she said, chewing on a stick of celery she picked up off the vegetable plate on the table. "Celery, for instance!"

"I realize that it may not be the first food that comes to mind when you're thinking about sex but it's a fantastic source food for sexual stimulation because it contains androsterone," she explained.


"It's an odorless hormone released through male perspiration and it supposedly turns women on." She handed me a celery stick. "Here, eat this!"

I laughed and accepted it from her.

"Raw oysters, of course," she added. "Which is why I ordered it as an appetizer. Speak of the devil!"

The waiter arrived with the appetizer and Liz smiled politely while waiting for him to leave.
"Oysters contain the classic aphrodisiacs because they are high in zinc which raises sperm and testosterone production." Liz frowned as she looked at me. "You should have been eating these all week!"

"They're not my fav," I admitted.

"Oysters contain dopamine, a hormone known to increase the libido," she said. "Plus the experience of shucking a raw oyster is erotic," she said as she took one into her mouth and sucked it in. "Try one," she said.

I felt my self blush as Liz held one out to my mouth and had me suck it off her fingers through my lips.

"They say bananas contain the bromelain enzyme which is believed to increase libido and reverse impotence in men," Liz said.

"Oh, I have a banana for breakfast every day," I said.

"Good," she giggled. "The Aztecs called the avocado tree 'testicle tree' because they look like them and they contain high levels of folic acid which helps metabolize proteins to giving you more energy plus they contain vitamin B6 which increases male hormone production and potassium which helps regulate a woman's thyroid gland."

"I'm learning how to improve my sex life from a gay woman?"
"Almonds are a prime source of essential fatty acids," Liz informed me. "They also help a man's healthy production of hormones and the smell of almonds is purported to arouse passion in females. And figs are high in amino acids which are believed to increase libido and improve sexual stamina. Garlic contains allicin, an ingredient that increases blood flow to the sexual organs."

"No way am I eating raw garlic!"

"Chocolate contains theobromine an alkaloid that is very similar to caffeine and phenylethylamine, a chemical believed to produce the feeling of being in love," Liz laughed.

"What are you having for dessert?" I teased.

The food came in waves and I was surprised how much Liz could put away at one sitting but she was energetic and full of good cheer as we discussed everything except what was going to happen when we were done eating. I told her several stories about Sun Rise Lake. Liz had come to Blue County for the job and grew up in Eastern Massachusetts so she had no childhood reflections of the area and enjoyed hearing my stories of growing up in the area, including my prom at the Inn and some of my early dates, not all of which went so well.

"You're doing fine tonight," Liz assured me.

"I find it very ironic that one of my best dates is with a woman who isn't sexually attracted to me," I noted as we ate.

She blushed. "I find you attractive, Joe," she said. "But… know."

"You don't have any reservations about any of this?" I asked.

"No, of course not," she replied. "I'm doing this for Jane and me."

"But how can you have sex with me?" I wondered. "When you're attracted to women and committed to Jane?"

"We're making a baby," she reminded me.

"But will this really work?" I feared.

"I've had sex with men before, Joe," she said softly, leaning over the table. "Before I figured things out."

"I know," I mumbled. "But now that you know…"

"It's just sex, Joe," she reminded me. "So we can have a baby. Don't think about it so much."

"I just want to make sure that this is going to…," I said sheepishly.

"It's basic human biology, Joe," she replied. "Relax. You know how it works!"

I laughed and we switched the topic back to work, and Jane, and plans for the baby, and names for the baby, and dreams about the baby.

Liz had a thick slice of double chocolate cake for dessert and she certainly was the most well fed date I had in quite a while! She seemed to be in an especially giddy mood as we paid the bill.

"Let's go make a baby," She said with excitement as we left the dining room but I was feeling increasingly nervous and uncertain.

I was quiet as we returned to the room, noticing how nice Liz looked in the business suit she had worn to work that day. She closed the door behind me when we entered the room and locked it. She closed the curtains on the windows and dimmed the lights. She turned on the radio to soft music and then glanced at me with a smile.

"Well, here we are," she announced.

"Here we are," I agreed.

She took off her suit top and then unbuttoned her white blouse and tossed it aside, glancing at me as she stood in her bra. She saw my eyes go wide.
"Are you okay?" She giggled.
"I just didn't expect to see you half naked so suddenly," I admitted.
"We're adults here, Joe," she reminded me. "Are you afraid you'll see something you like?"
"What difference does it make," I sighed, sitting on the bed. "It's just business."

"Oh, Joe," Liz sighed with sympathy as she sat on the bed next to me. "I would never use you like that."

"You sure?" I asked, glancing at her.

"I really do care about you," she said. "I love you for what you're doing for us."

I nodded with understanding.

"I do see something that I like," I whispered.
Our eyes locked and before either of us could say anything my arms wrapped around her waist and my lips were pressed against hers. I was surprised when Liz flung her tongue into my mouth. I panicked and backed off, jumping off the bed and taking a few steps back.

"I don't know about this, Liz," I said with worry. "I keep thinking about Jane."

"Don't think about Jane," Liz replied, standing. "Right now it's about us."

"I wish I wasn't just your sperm donor," I sighed.

"You're not," she said desperately. "You're the guy I'd be with if I wasn't gay," she assured me. "You mean the world to me."

I placed my hands under her rear and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist and my breathing picked up and I turned toward the bed and laid her down on top of it. I kissed her neck down to her breasts while I undid the back of her bra, freeing her lovely breasts which I began to suck on.

I heard Liz gasp as I lightly nipped at her nipples before trailing kisses down her stomach. I slowly peeled down her pants which she helped with and then slowly I pulled her panties down and off. She looked beautiful as she lay before me naked and I planted kisses on the inside of her thigh making her moan. My nose brushed ever so slightly against her pubic hair and then I plunged my tongue inside of her knowing I needed to stimulate her to get her ready for me since I wasn't her first choice in sexual preference.

Liz arched her back as I flicked my tongue around inside, bring soft moans from her throat.
"You taste amazing," I said.

She purred in response.

Somehow, I got naked too and when Liz saw me ready and able she pulled me close to her.

"Let's make a baby," she whispered pleadingly.
I climbed on top of her and she willingly spread her legs to welcome me inside. Her juices and my spit had properly lubricated everything perfectly and I had little trouble inserting myself inside of her. I established a rhythm as I began to pump, speeding my pace up as our breathing increased. I leaned down and kissed her and sucked her tits into my mouth in an attempt to further stimulate and excite her.

"We're making a baby," she said over and over again each time I rocked her with a thrust.

She put her feet up on my shoulders to give me full force entrance and then she dropped them and wrapped them around my waist, lifting her ass off the bed and moving her hips in a circle allowing me to feel every inch of her.

"We're making a baby." She was practically singing it now and I could feel the pressure building and before I knew I was pouring my baby making magic into her and she screamed out in ecstasy as I continued to pound her hoping to bring her to orgasm although I wasn't sure if I could giving her preference.

"We're making a baby!" She sobbed.

I felt her body tighten and I heard her call out my name and when I was finally spent I collapsed on top of her as my softening dick fell out of her.


Liz quickly scrambled off the bed and lay on the floor on her back with her feet up in the air.

"So you won't spill out," she explained as I leaned over the side of the bed and peered down at her.

She was holding both her hands between her legs keeping my sperm from spilling out.

"Swim, you little workers, swim!" She said. "We're making a baby here!"

I couldn't help but laugh.

After a while, Liz climbed back onto the bed and we laid together as I kissed her shoulders.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Thank you," I replied softly.

"For what?"
"For wanting me," I said. "I think you're beautiful and one of the sweetest people I know," I confessed in a moment of vulnerable honesty given that we were both naked and had exchanged body fluids trying to make a baby. "Whenever I'm with you I feel happy and on more than one occasion I've pictured you as my girlfriend," I confessed openly.
"Oh, Joe," she sighed, leaning up and kissing me on the cheek.
I kissed her passionately before we made love again. I'm not sure how many times we tried to 'hit a home run' making a baby that night but I know I was pretty sore and spent by the time we fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning.

When Liz woke me in the morning, we made love one more time and then we showered together and made love in the shower although Liz feared the hot water would wash away "the baby makers".

We didn't talk much as Liz drove me back to my car in the office parking lot after we checked out from the inn.

"I hope we made a baby," I said as I climbed out of the car in the parking lot.

"Me too," she smiled.

"I'm available if you need me again," I grinned.

She laughed. "Thanks, Joe," Then she turned serious. "I always want you to remember one thing, though," she said.

"What's that?"

"You're not just a sperm donor to me."

"Thanks, Liz," I said with sincerity before closing the door to the car.


Liz and Jane came to my wedding five years later, bringing their daughter Marsha with them. She was a beautiful blonde haired girl with her mother's eyes and I was delighted to be her Uncle Joe. I'm also her Godfather and guardian in the event anything ever happened to Liz and Jane.

I spend plenty of time with Marsha whenever I can and I'm grateful that Liz and Jane have welcomed and accepted me as part of their lives, keeping me as a part of their family.

I danced with Liz during the reception.

"I'm glad you finally found somebody," she said happily.

"I found somebody a long time ago," I reminded her.

Liz smiled warmly and looked into my eyes. "You're the most amazing man I ever met," she told me.

I smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll always love you."

"Me too," she whispered.

A few minutes later she was dancing with Jane while I danced with my bride and Marsha watched from her table.