August 29, 2012
I feel like I'm caught in a vortex, where a slow and miserable demise is what awaits me. I feel stuck, like nothing I do will make things better. As my relationship keeps going down the drain, I keep going with it. I cried so hard the other day, that every time I try to laugh, my chest begins to hurt, like it's preventing me from laughing. I feel miserable. What do you do when you love someone, but you personally know that it's bound to fail, that all of the blood, sweat and tears you put into it doesn't matter? How do you force yourself to stop loving someone that you would die for? Yes, he has hurt me on many occasions, but I've hurt him as well. I've always felt guilty about it, but the fighting never stops. I am at the end of my rope, and I am so tempted to take the rope I'm hanging from, tie it around my neck, and just let go. I feel like every thing I do is never right, and I'm sick of suffering.
Thus concludes my 10th entry.