Diehl | 4

Failure is #1

Nowadays, the high school drop-out rate is staggering. Millions of teenagers drop out of school each year. Why? There must be a reason why so many are refusing to complete their high school education. I believe that high school teens are dropping out because they can get ahead in the job field, save money by not paying for college, spend more time with their parents, and practice hand-eye coordination.

From The Failures themselves, I have been informed that it has allowed them to get a head start in the job field over their peers who stayed in school and are graduating. With more young people joining the work force and flipping burgers for the rest of their days, it boosts the economy and lowers the unemployment rate. When it comes to be June and their peers are graduating and beginning to look for part-time summer jobs before they start the next step to the rest of their 'successful' lives, there won't be very many to go around because The Failure picked up the janitor job at Burger King! So, who is truly the failure here? Is it The Failure who now has a long-term paying job or The Graduate that now has to start the job search anywhere from 2 years to 6 months later before going to college to learn a skill for a well-paying job?

I'd also like to point out that it is also cheaper than finishing and continuing school. Every year, parents dish out thousands of dollars in school taxes and some school districts have taxes that are exceptionally high! And not only that, but when The Graduate goes to college, he's racking up a huge I.O.U. to colleges and banks so when he finishes his education, he's at least forty-thousand dollars in debt! However, at the time he's graduating college, The Failure still has his job at Burger King and he's been promoted to Manager! So, not only does Failure make next-to-nothing but now he makes a little bit more than next-to-nothing and works longer days more often! This obviously proves that dropping out of high school and limiting oneself to a G.E.D. is the way to succeed in life.

In recent years, the American family has lost 'the good ole days' to video games and technology. Now, teens are primarily occupied by Facebook, TV, Twitter, iPhones, Call of Duty, Facebook, Skyrim, Twitter, iPods, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, World of Warcraft, and did I mention Facebook? Dropping out of school is the solution. Without a high school diploma or college degree, The Failure lacks the funds to buy an apartment or house. So, there are a few solutions. Solution one: Failure can live in his parents' basement for the rest of his life, solution two: Failure gets a second job and has no personal time, or solution three: Failure goes back to school. Obviously, the most reasonable (and easiest) is the first solution. Not only does Failure have a roof over his head free-of-charge, but he gets to spend more time with his parents. All those years that Failure missed during high school because of trivial thing like the PSSAs or the SATs are no longer a factor. Without school to go to, you can reinitiate 'the good ole days' with family dinners, family vacations, family reunions, and family game nights. Is personal transportation an issue? Because Failure lives with his parents, it won't be! By the time he's 40, if his parents aren't already dead, they'll be retired and have no job to drive to and from which gives him full-time use of the car. Also, the lack of exercise due to Failures' parents waiting on him hand and foot will cause him to gain weight and, in turn, buy bigger clothes and, as a result, stimulate the economy.

Everybody says that the Failures of America do nothing productive with the free time that they do have when not managing the troublemaking drive-thru workers but how untrue that is! When not working, Failure is on X-Box Live playing Madden NFL 2012 and improving his hand-eye coordination. Why improve hand-eye coordination you ask? So Failure can get ready for the NFL Draft after 7 years of playing Madden in said basement. A few years from now, after Failure has become a master footballer on X-Box, The Graduates will be watching the Philadelphia Eagles win their first Superbowl with The Failure as their star player while sporting the number one on his back.

There would be many that object to the ideas of my proposal and to those I would like to say: Why is dropping-out of high school such an epidemic in the great country of America? Is it simply because we live in the country of, "Stupid, fat, and lazy Yankees," as a British X-Box user in a YouTube video by machinima so nicely commented, or for some other reason?

I do not truly believe that dropping-out of high school is the ideal track of life for members of my generation and I would like to believe that a majority of Americans would agree. Why is this such a problem if this is an agreed upon subject? I simply yearn for others to not act rashly as teens and to be the best that they can be for themselves and future family.