No Shame

By: Krissie

Where does the pain start? Where does it end? Where can I find rest? Where can I find peace again?

This is supposed to be my safe haven. My sanctuary. Where is heaven hiding? Is it really real? Or am I just living in some level of hell?

I wonder. What's going through your minds? What makes you think that this is okay? Come on answer me! Come on open your voice!

Yes! I have no shame at all. There is nothing to my name. I want to break free. But I don't know how. I want to fly. But I'm far too shy. I'm standing on a fault. But I don't want to break open the vault.

Or do I? You all seem to be misbehaving. Acting like it's all okay. It's not. Life is hard. Life is cruel. Behave! Act right! Why are you acting this way? Why are you doing this to me?
I'm tired of being kicked down. I'm tired of being pushed around. I'm tired of all of this. If you're going to say one thing. Stop being a hypocrite. I'm only a little kid. I've done nothing to you.

My pain is growing. My rage is showing. I'm not happy at all. I'm not. I feel as though I can no longer trust. Even if I must. I can no longer trust anyone at all. I stumble down these long halls. I know I am going to fall. I'll just have to get back up again. But I don't think I can take much more.

Not from you.

Where does the pain start? Where does the pain end? Where can I find rest? Where can I find peace again?

Afflicting my weak fragile heart. You've seem to have shattered it a little more. Breaking its small pieces even more. I'm not joking. Too much pain has shot through me.

I wonder. What's going through your minds? What makes you think that this is okay? Come on answer me! Come on open your voice! Say something at least! Or do you wish to continue condemning yourself!

I'm supposed to trust you. I'm supposed to look up to you. I'm supposed to speak to you of all the other pains. But why can't I? Why must you do these things? Change the vibes? Change the way I see the world? Change the way that I see you?

This is supposed to be my safe haven. My sanctuary. Where is heaven hiding? Is it really real? Or am I just living in some level of hell?

Come on! Say something for yourself! Defend yourself! I'm tired of lies! I'm tired of all of your bullshit! I'm stopping my heart right now. I have no choice. I can no longer afford to care for you! Anymore!

If you're looking for sympathy, I have none to give for you. This is what happens when you double cross and hurt someone. We love you. We really do. We love you. But will you please, please stop this behavior. Do right by us. Do right by me. Do right by you.