Sentinel

I watched her do it
I saw her throw life away
… I watched her do it.

She did not want it,
The life I tried to give her
She ignored her chance.

Where, you ask, was I?
Oh, I stood there at her side
Always…
And I did nothing.
Nothing.
Because that was all she wanted.

I watched her do it.
I cried as she drained away
On the bathroom floor.

And no one cared but me.
And all I could give were tears.
And what are they but leaks
In a dam holding back little but a
Sea of sorrow and
An ocean of guilt.
I should have said something else, done something else…
But what else could I have done?

… I felt as if I'd drowned so completely.
Like I should be lying dead on the tiles with her,
The waters that did the damage should have been
Mixing with the red that coated the floor and our hands.

But. It. Wasn't.

And I pulled her close. I stroked her hair.
I kissed her eyes
And tasted bitter salt and blood.

Yes, I stayed with her.
I held her in our darkness,
And I stayed with her.