I've decided to post all of my writing assignments from my creative writing class journal. I don't really expect anyone but Ray-kun to read them, but it makes me feel good knowing at least they're out there, just in case some stranger wants to read them. These will be completely random and usually will have no correlation. Enjoy~
1. Scars, 8/21/12
Scars are an interesting thing, as lame and undescriptive as that adjective is. They tell where a person has been in their life, who they've been and perhaps even who they are now. And some are hidden below the surface, locked inside their hearts for no one to pick apart.
My scars aren't hidden under my skin, deep inside of me and unseen by the naked eye. They line and cross my left wrist, mutilate the once-beauty of my boyish hips, make a checkerboard on my left ankle. Self-injury is a terrible thing; it isn't at all poetic, beautiful, glamorous or fun as some people make it out to be. It's serious and terrible, like a substance addiction attacking you from the outside in instead of vice versa. The cure for it is different for everyone, and I've yet to find a permanent cure for my scars and their cause.
Perhaps my mind is scarred as well. It's ruined and damaged by the outer mutilation of my body. There's nothing more plaguing than being scarred on the inside, where no one can see, help or understand. People can see the outside, and they can see the pink lines up and down your skin. And they call you names - emo, freak, loser, attention whore; and sometimes its just a dirty look of a thousand nasty looks. It hurts and it cuts and it wounds, then it scars you - a permanent reminder of your imperfections. And maybe, emotional scarring matters more than the physical kind.