I used to love it

When I was all alone

When I could hear the wind and the birds

When I was just my heart beat

My breathing

I used to love it

But that was before I met you

Before I fell into that dizzying spiral called love

Before my heart started betraying my independence

I can't stop thinking about you now

You're always in my mind

I used to love being alone

Now I don't feel right unless I'm with you

And I love it

Yet I yearn for my freedom

The freedom to go away whenever I please

To escape from everyone and not miss a thing

But its not like that anymore

I miss you

Whenever I'm awake it's all I can do to stay away from you

Even for a few hours

To not reach out and hold your hand

Or wrap my arms around you

Or kiss your lips

Or touch your hair

Its torture for me

And I love it

Yet it scares me

I'm afraid I will lose it all

I mean what if you leave?

What if you stop loving me?

What if you never really loved me to begin with?

All these fears swirl around in my head

Begging me to take my freedom now

Hurt him before he can hurt me

But I can't

I need him now

I need him by my side

I need him to hold me tight

To tell me everything is alright

To whisper my name as he kisses my cheek

My forehead

My hand

While I silently scream I love you

But am too afraid to say it out loud

Afraid to scare you away

Yet the look in your eyes promises you'll stay

It says you love me too

I can see it shining from your eyes

Yet I'm still afraid

I love you

I love you

I love you