The cool waves lap at the shore but I'm not looking

The gulls sing out to the night but I'm not hearing

The sunlight dances off the waves but I'm not seeing

The heat rolls through my body and I am feeling

Feeling pain in waves that never recede

Feeling sorrow pour down like acid rain

Feeling the lingering touch of a hand

Understanding my loses and scared of my future

Undecided on life and the battle between Nature vs. Nurture

Caring not what others say of me but what they say to me

Holding back on how they feel

The anguish and anger builds up behind my mental dam

But it no longer stays quietly in the backdrop

It demands attention and calls me away from peace

It threatens to flood the valley of stability below

Finally I release it all in one foul swoop

The screams are primal like the surf

The tears are never ending like the rain

The pain is never ending like the sand

But it is actually

Traveling down this path of release long enough and I find it

Hidden from view from where I was I see the end

It shines bright like new hopes and dreams

But I cannot reach out and touch it

The screams are no longer for pain but for frustration

I have at last conquered the inner battle only to be excluded from my biggest desire

Peace and harmony internally

It's blocked by my biggest fear of all

Me.