"Bothersome case just had to be in the driest place in the world!" Detective Kirk grumbled, speeding down the highway to a remote village located in the Dust Bowl of Androsia. With the blistering sun beating down upon his back, he was eager to get the case over with as soon as possible. Kirk grimaced and cut the engine, having finally arrived at his destination and was greeted by a local, who directed him to the site where the spooky sounds had reportedly been heard deep in a cave in the mountain that Kirk now faced.
Before leaving, he handed the villagers' governor a walkie-talkie for easier communication, instructed him to listen very carefully for any screams on the walkie-talkie, as the technology was bound to detect noise better than any human ears, and to alert him if he did chance upon anything unusual. He also listened to a tape that one of the ear-witnesses had recorded to get a firm idea of what it sounded like. As he trudged along, Kirk reread the file that he had been given containing the information of the case. Apparently, some locals who had been hiking had passed the cave and heard ghostly shrieks echoing from within. Many other climbers had heard the high-pitched screeches, too. So now it was up to him to figure it all out. He stepped into the cooler atmosphere of the rocky cavern, gravel crunching underfoot, and squinted at the dust that settled over everything. In the fine layers of dust, he discerned the tracks of some small animal that had been here recently. He was just about to take a closer inspection when a sudden small squeal sounded next to his ear and he felt tiny claws clinging to his shirt sleeve. He staggered in shock, and slowly, ever so slowly turned his head to behold what was clutching his sleeve. He found a huge, round pair of eyes staring into his own.
"Glerbbah!" Kirk sputtered, and began furiously swiping at his shoulder in an attempt to get the thing off, whatever it was. It dropped from his shoulder and landed with an audible thump! on the cave floor. The surprise visitor found himself upside down on a sharp, stony surface.
"Yer?" it squeaked in confusion, and then began chittering into the depths of the cave. A light pitter-pattering of paws filled and echoed the cavity of rock. Kirk shuddered, but then suddenly realized that the critter's voice had almost perfectly matched the sound of the recording. So, he apprehensively approached the creature, and all of a sudden, recognized what it was! A squirrel!
"A squirrel!" Kirk yelped. So that was what had been terrorizing the villagers! Kirk could not believe it. All this time, it had been some puny little squirrels, which had been looking for nuts, it seemed. There was a meager pile of nuts in the center of the cave. Though what squirrel would search for nuts in a cave, he didn't know. He sauntered out of the cave moments later triumphantly with a struggling squirrel in each hand, mumbling to himself in disbelief the whole way, "A squirrel. It was a squirrel. IT WAS A SQUIIRRREEELLL!"
The walkie-talkie crackled to life. "Did you say somethin'? "
"No, no, nothing at all." He replied in a sarcastic tone, but the sarcasm was evidently lost on the other man, as the governor, evidently satisfied, shut off. The detective was about to begin his descent down the mountain, when he heard a rumbling coming from not far ahead on the mountain.
"Oh no! It's a landslide!" Kirk mentally shouted to himself. It was a landslide indeed, but a very brief one, too. He cautiously minced forward, bracing himself if the landslide continued. It didn't, and soon he reached the site of rubble. There, he was met by a magnificent sight.
The landslide had come down and uncovered a seemingly complete fossil of some sort of prehistoric dinosaur! The detective, for the second time in one day, absolutely could not believe his eyes. A fossil this old was already a rare find in and of itself, but to have unearthed one still completely intact made it twice as extraordinary. He maintained as much of a dignified stance as one possibly could when picking their way meticulously across a series of boulders, but then abruptly found himself thrown forward, as his boot snagged on a slab of protruding stone.
"Glah!" Kirk's breath was knocked out as he landed face-down, his palms stinging from the jagged pebbles that littered the ground. The squirrels flew out of his grasp, tumbling through the air.
He heard the walkie-talkie crackle once more, and heard the governor holler, "Detective! I think I heard a scream just now! Except this time, it sounded deeper, like a man's voice. In the past, it always bordered more on the edge of women's' tones! D'ya think this might be a new piece of evidence or what-not?!"
Kirk fumed silently on the ground, and replied in a barely-controlled and very miffed tone, "No, governor, that was me, because I fell." In his embarrassment and irritation, he almost forgot to inform the village that he had "solved" the case and also that he was quite sure that he had found one of the largest, most complete, fossil of a dinosaur in the world. After all, the goliath was near a jaw-dropping 60 feet long.
"By the way, governor, if you wouldn't mind calling the police and asking them to come over to investigate, that'd be nice."
"IT'S THAT SERIOUS? WE NEED THE POLICE?!" the walkie-talkie screamed into his ear.
"No, no, just please call the police and I'll explain later." Detective Kirk was now thoroughly fed up with the desert villagers, and all he wanted to do was go home and take a good shower to clean off all the grime, not to mention the squirrel poop that he had accumulated while prowling around.
Half an hour later, the police had arrived and Kirk had made it to the bottom of the mountain without further incident. "Thanks, Detective. We'll take care of the rest of this now. You can go home." A sympathetic officer told Kirk when he inquired about the case. Kirk's jaw moved soundlessly up and down as he tried to compose himself. Although he really did want to go home, he was still a bit amazed that that was what they were telling him to do. Besides, he was curious about the fossil-his fossil, he felt. In the end though, he still decided to call it a day and headed for home, where a well-deserved shower and a delicious, steamy hot meal were sure to be waiting for him.