How I hate you! Our relationship is a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. You never seem to get it right. Your cold and heartless, a real drag to be around. Sometimes you are exciting but more often than not you are just depressing.
You have issues bathroom scale. You have seen me naked and laughed at me. You play jokes on me…How can I weigh more after I take my clothes off than before? Your crude, unattractive and all you do is lay on the floor looking up at me.
It's pitiful really! How can I even know the information you give me is true? You fluctuate more than any politician. You're just full of hot air and coated in thin veneer of shiny, glittery paint. You just throw your weight around all the time.
Well, scale you better shape up…Or I will seriously throw you out the window.