everything is flashing

before my tear filled

eyes.

the first time i cut.

the way i winced

at the searing pain.

the time i realized

it didnt hurt anymore.

the time i smiled

when it started to feel good.

the first time

i was raped.

the second time.

the third.

fourth.

the first time i was buried alive.

the second time.

my abortion.

the look in ambers eyes

as she took the abuse

with not

a single

word.

noeys death.

my first attempt at suicide.

the second.

third.

fourth.

fifth.

sixth.

and the seventh.

the nightmares.

the blood.

the cuts.

the scars.

the death of my

baby.

its all coming back.

and i cant live

with all the hurt.

no more.