wow. due to the positive attention and PM's I've received asking for this to be continued, I...have finished Golden.

It does get sad. This whole thing is sad.

ANYWAY.

enjoy. :) and REVIEW thank you!


I don't get to hear from you too often since you're back at Liboiron, but by the time February is sliding to a slow close, I get a call that holds good news.

You're coming home.

"I'm free!" you laugh into the phone, and I can just hear the grin on your face. I'm thrilled to hear this; I can't wait to see you.

"Hopefully, you can come see me soon?"

"I'll try," you promise. "But I have to start school as soon as I get back, so. I'll be tied down for a while," you tell me.

I sigh. "Okay. I'm just glad you're doing better. Keep it up."

"I'll try," you say again. "I have to go, Aiden. Love you."

"Iā€¦love you," I respond. I wasn't expecting such a short phone call, but before I can finish responding, you've hung up. I go back to my homework, which is tedious only because I'd rather be talking to you.

I digress. I'm just happy that you're safe and sound at home, where you want to be.


Mid-March comes, and I get a call.

It's not your number, but it looks familiar. Despite the fact that it's 1 a.m., I pick up.

"'Lo?"

"Aiden...," someone sighs.

I give my phone an odd look. "I. Yes."

"It's Melchiore."

I can't imagine why your younger brother is calling me at this time (let alone at all), but I respond, rubbing my eyes.

"Hey, Mel..what's up?"

He lets out what sounds like a sob, and I frown, startled. "Melchiore?"

"It's Kai," he chokes, voice cracking. My heart drops, and my eyes immediately water. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, and I can hardly breathe. What's happened?

"What's wrong?" I bite out hesitantly. I know the answer I'm waiting for isn't good, but I can still hope.

Melchiore lets out a groan. "He's gone..."

"'Gone'?" I repeat, though I can hardly speak. I'm pacing, praying that you're okay.

Melchiore inhales slowly and lets out another soft cry. "He's dead, Aiden."

A chill runs down my spine, and my throat tightens, my knees giving out, sending me to the floor, where I'm doubled over, my chest pressed to my thighs while I rest my head in my hands. I've dropped my phone, and I don't even know if Melchiore's still on the other line because I can't hear a thing but me struggling to breathe through this and the blood that's spilling from my nose.

Kai, you can't be gone. This is a fucking joke.

You're not dead.

You can't be.


I'm not okay after your death. After learning how you killed yourself, after having to speak at your funeral...

I'm not okay.

My parents are worried about me, though I don't really understand why. I still drag my ass out of bed each morning, make my tea, read some John Green-my usual routine. I may want to do nothing but stay in bed all day, but I don't. I may not want to eat, but I have to. I may see you, hear you, smell you in everything, and that may burden me until I leave this earth one day, too. It may feel like you're on vacation, and you'll come home any day now, fall into my arms, kiss me like you did at Christmas and stay here forever.

But you won't.

You're gone, Kai, and you can't come back.

My whole life, I've tried to be optimistic. Everything happens for a reason. It always gets worse before it gets better. But at a time like this, I've lost my optimism. I've lost my hope and my faith. All because I lost you.

There's nothing left.


It's summer time before I can wrap my mind around losing you.

I tell myself you wouldn't have wanted saving. You were stubborn and miserable, and while I know there's nothing I could've done to help you, I felt guilty after your death. I didn't want you to give up; I was being selfish, wanting you here, where you were in pain. I have to think that at least now, you must be happy...wherever you are.

I guess no matter how many times I want to beat myself up for not being your savior, that doesn't change anything. You were unhappy and trapped, so all I can do now that you're gone is pray that you're finally happy. Even though I miss you. Even though I love you.

Time heals even the deepest wounds, right? And I imagine you're always with me, in spirit and in heart. And this way, we're both okay.


Ouch. My otp hurts.

On another note, Kai and Aiden are characters of mine in my writing, and this doesn't follow their plot. For instance, if this were fanfiction based on a book, this fic would be AU. The first half of Golden is accurate to their stories, however. Except they don't date in the actual story. :)

ALSO, I think it's mentioned in July, but not in here, Aiden has Von Willebrand Disease (type 2 normandy)...hence the bleeding. C:

Thanks for reading! Please leave me a review; let me know what you think.

~Caroline