Chapter 32: Entries 148-152

Entry 148: June 3rd, 1816 Dear Diary,

I can't believe how large I am. I look like a balloon. I only have about a month left till my little baby is born. I've been helping Mary get things ready for the wedding, as much as I can.
It is very difficult being so big. I have to be careful, or I'll bump into stuff. It is a bit funny when I do, Mary gets so upset . I know I shouldn't laugh, but can't help it. She has been so rude to me, she deserves anything that comes her way. I know I shouldn't think such things, but she is really starting to make me mad.
I am getting tired of everyone acting like I don't exist or like I'm not good enough for this family. I think after the baby's born, I might just pack up my stuff and find somewhere else to live.
I don't know where I would live. I might go stay with aunt Nancy, at least till I can find somewhere else. I haven't decided on anything yet.

Entry 149: June 10th, 1816 Dear Diary,

I am so glad that Mary and Davids' wedding is over. I like David, but I am glad they're gone. I am beginning to wish I never had to see Mary again. I love my sister, but she is a different person now and I'm not for sure I like the new her. I miss my old sister.
I have been having those dreams again. I really thought they were gone for good. I guess I should have known better.
In the dreams lately, I'm in great pain. I am always crying and I can see the hurt in my eyes. I believe the dreams are from when I'd just lost Jeff. I am still like that on some days. Some days all I want to do is stay in bed and be miserable. And I probably would, but Frederick needs my support. No one understands him. They still think of him as the brat child.

Entry 150: June 17th, 1816 Dear Diary,

I thought I was just having cramps, but I'm not. They are getting really strong. I went to mother and she told me to lay down. She sent father for the doctor.
I beged mother to let me write a quick entry while the pains are bareable. She finally gave in, though it took some arguing with her for nearly an hour. I won't be able to write for very long, but I had to write something for this day. The day my baby is born. Finally, it is happening. It feels like I've been waiting forever.

Entry 151: June 18th, 1816 Dear Diary,

It is twelve in the morning. My baby was born yesterday, though it was close. She was born at eleven fifty-seven.
The doctor I cleaning her up right now. My beautiful Amy Elizabeth Nelson. This day will forever live in my mind.
I'm so tired, so I'm going to sleep for now. I'll try to write more tomorrow.

Entry 152: June 20th, 1816 Dear Diary,

When I woke up in the afternoon, the doctor was gone, but mother was near me. She saw I was awake and came over to me. I asked for Amy, but mother didn't move to go get her. I asked for Amy again, she still didn't move to go get her.
I asked where she was. Mother nealt on the carpet beside the bed, she took my hand and said, "Honey, dear, she's gone. She died soon after Doc. had finished cleaning her up. You were already asleep and we didn't want to wake you. You needed your sleep. I am so sorry Katherine. I am." "No, it's not true. It can't be." I whispered. I could barely speak. Mother tried to comfort me, but I pushed her away and told her to go. I can't believe my little girl is gone. I never even got to hold her.