Everything Hana told me, it all made sense. It couldn't be a lie, because her stories were so detailed, and she told it to me with excitement, as if recalling her first love. According to her, we started dating during Spring Break and was the focus of rumors when we went back to school.
I was in love with Ritsu during those two years, the two years that I lost my memories of.
As I laid on my bed, I thought of the stories she told me. Me, as I cheered Ritsu on during soccer games. Me, as I interfered during his practice after school, challenging him to a one on one. Me, as I made a lunchbox for him. We made a picture-perfect couple, or as close as you could get to it when you were a kid.
"Ritsu..." His name softly passed through my lips, a whisper, a desperate call. "Ritsu." I'm so sorry for doubting you. You've stayed by my side all this time, even though I lost the memories of when we were together, even though you knew it might be pointless. Even though you knew I had fallen in love with someone else. "Ritsu."
I closed my eyes, and dreamt of you. In my dreams I faintly remembered the night I ran away from home, I was twelve years old. Mom and Dad had both come home for the break, they planned to stay for two weeks. Things didn't go right. Things never went right when they were both under the same roof at the same time.
It was raining that night, and after only half an hour of hiding, he found me. He was the only one who found me. "Come out, come out wherever you are!"
I curled into an even smaller ball, trying to fade away, in the small tunnel at the playground. His head popped in front of me. "Wahh! Ri-chan, how did you know I'd be here?!"
He grinned. "Did you forget that I can read you mind?" I rolled my eyes. He crawled in, and sat next to me. He was so soaked from the rain, that his hair was starting to curl a little. "But still, you're like a little kid always hiding at the playground when you get angry or depressed."
"I am a little kid," I mumbled, with my arms folded on bent knees and my head on top of my arms. I didn't look at him as he talked.
He smiled. "Your brother came to my house asking me if you stopped by. I thought you'd be spending all your time with your parents, since you haven't seen them in a while." When I didn't say anything, his silence was answer enough that he knew something had happened.
He waited until I felt like telling him. Minutes passed. And then, through my tears I told him everything.
"They don't care about me or my brother. They started fighting as soon as they got home!" I sniffed. "Is it my fault they fight all the time? When I was little, they used to be in love...and now..."
"I know your parents love you. Your Mom always calls and send you letters! And your Dad send you presents all the time. Even though they're so busy, they still think about you." He patted my head. "The reason they fight all the time, could be because they feel awkward and don't know how to express their feelings after being away from each other for a long time."
I sniffed. "Maybe." When I finally looked up at him, I found myself unexpectedly blushing. Ritsu smiled at me, his smile that always made my heart jump. "You say some smart things sometimes even though you're a brat who only knows how to play soccer."
"Why you!" He ruffled my hair, and we started laughing when it made a weird look.
"Do you think there are people who can still love each other after a long time?"
He laughed. "I'm sure there are." When he didn't say anything more, I glanced at him to see if something was wrong. I couldn't see his expression under his soaked hair that nearly covered his face.
He grabbed my hand in his, suprising me. "Mei! Don't worry, we'll still be together even when we're in High School!"
My eyes widened. "Does that mean...?" His blushing cheeks confirmed it. As it was contagious, I also felt a flushing heat rush to my cheeks, and spread like a wildfire to my ears.
"I like you! So...so..."
This time I smiled. "Mhm." I said nodding my head.
"Is that a yes?!"
I ignored his erratic questioning as he walked me home, about if I liked him too or not. I couldn't stop smiling as a warm feeling filled my chest. I thought that everything would be fine as long as he was by my side. But as soon as I got him, those fairy-tale thoughts became nothing but dreams. My Dad in his anger slapped and yelled at me, my Mom's red eyes confirmed that she had been crying.
At that time, I never thought that it was because they were worried about me, rather that they hated me. Because of what happened, I became depressed. I would smile and talk normally to Ritsu occasionally, but even that didn't fool him. My parents hated me. That's all that mattered at that time.
I opened my eyes, to a tear stained pillow. I remember everything. Everything that happened in those two years. That day I was involved in the accident, I told Ritsu that we shouldn't see each other anymore. I didn't want him to worry about me anymore, so I thought that if we ended the relationship before it got to serious, he would be able to fall in love with someone else.
"He was so cute when he confessed," I said as I laughed, with my hand covering my eyes.
I was selfish. All I though about was myself, about not wanting to hurt anyone, because it would hurt me even more. So I ran away. I see. That was the reason I couldn't regain those two years of memories even though I remembered everything else. I had run away. I couldn't stand the fact that I was making him worry about me, but I couldn't bring myself to laugh like I used to. I was an idiot.
Standing up from my bed, I made my way down stairs to the living room, where the whispers of voices led me. Masaki-nii and both my parents were sitting on the couch discussing something serious. Even though weeks had passed, they still haven't left. It was rare, but faintly I knew their reason of staying.
"I can't continue to have my assistant look after her, he has his own life. And we can't very well leave her on her own, that's why I want you to let her stay with you until she at least graduates High School."
Maskai-nii looked troubled. "I don't think that's a good idea Dad."
As I thought, Masaki-nii was really nice, always thinking about me. Even though he knew my feelings for him, he didn't confront me because he didn't want to hurt me, instead he moved away hoping that my heart would change. I looked at him and smiled a little. He's gotten even more handsome over the years, it was no surprise that he'd found someone who loves him as much as I do.
Before Dad could argue back, Mom stepped in. "Let Mei stay with me. We shouldn't interfere with a couple that is a few months away from getting married."
Dad scoffed. "Where's the point in that? You'd be too busy to look after her, and would leave her to your assistants. It's the same thing I'm doing now."
Dad lived here, but traveled occasionally so he was rarely home. Mom's work was in Tokyo.
"I wouldn't do that. Lately work hasn't been so busy, ever since we finished our big project." Mom said, glaring at Dad.
Before they started fighting like little kids, I clenched my fists and made my presence known. "I'll stay with Mom." Surprised to see me, they quickly stood up.
I no longer had any right to keep Ritsu by my side. So...I ran away. Again.