Words

~~oOo~~

Left. Right. Left. Right. Side to side. Off she went tossing and turning, unable to settle down. Finally she settled on her back, her cobalt eyes directed towards the ceiling, her mind elsewhere. The quiet flood of tears persisted, leaving her eyes and trailing down to join the others on her pillow. Her hands mechanically, automatically, wandered up to her face and wiped the tears away; a desperate attempt to stop the flooding. Quiet sniffles joined the tears, and soon her breaths were coming in short, quick pants, unable to hold back any longer.

A great deal of pain washed over her, almost drowning her. The words kept echoing in her mind, scolding her for being so thoughtless, so utterly careless and insensitive. They were there reprimanding her, telling her that the wound was still so raw, that he was still so vulnerable like a lost puppy stuck outside in the rain.

She closed her eyes tentatively, hoping against all odds that it was just a dream, a nightmare to be forgotten come morning. But, no. Her hopes were shattered before they were even fully built, knowing inside her heart that it was all real. It was not a nightmare that could be easily forgotten. How daft could she be, thinking it would all go away? She mentally scoffed at the idiocy of it all.

It was a lost cause now. She could try and apologise to him tomorrow, but what good would that do? The wound slowly healing was now re-opened harshly, and it was all her fault.

Would he ever forgive me?

Could I be forgiven?

Lost hope and darkness clouded her thoughts as her mind desperately tried to claw its way out of the grasp of unconciousness. Her heart slowed down to an almost bearable pace. Her breath slowed down, too, to a measured intake of air, trying to calm herself.

Her body felt like lead, disabling her to move to a more comfortable position, but it didn't matter. She could have cramps in the morning for all it was worth, she probably deserved it, anyway. No, she deserved worse, but she would take what she could get.

Whispers of what could have been floated about her head, lulling her into a restless state, until, finally, she fell asleep.