Once upon a time there was a tree named Gregory. Gregory was not a normal tree, however. He had evolved from a peaceful, harmless oak tree to a cannibalistic tree. To this day, Gregory had swallowed a bonanza of trees.

Today, Gregory was on a walk, searching for a delicious breed of tree: The maple tree. The specific type of maple doesn't matter; all maples are amazing and flavorful.

To Gregory's delight, he spotted a herd of maples, all set to migrate east for the winter, as all trees should. This herd was a small one, and Gregory immediately singled out a single laggard from the rest of them. Target acquired.

Gregory pounced on the unlucky tree, giving it a mighty blow that, sadly, the tree could not take without decaying. The little tree was taken away to Gregory's citadel, where he would be plucked and eaten by our disturbing protagonist.

The rest of the trees huddled together, preparing to hold a vigil for their fallen comrade. Gregory left them alone, however. He had all the sustenance he needed.

When Gregory reached his citadel, he was greeted by a steaming pile of charred rubble. At that point, he became a very angry tree, and he raged about, smashing some poor stationary trees nearby.

"Stop, Gregory! I have decreed the destruction of your fortress, because we needed your help. I know that makes no sense, but you have proved yourself quite churlish in the past, so naturally, we decided to blow up your base!" The speaker was a coyote. Gregory had never heard an animal talk before, which made him want to blow him up. Who doesn't love explosions, right? But Gregory was slightly interested in what the coyote had to say, so he decided to postpone the blowing up. Most of his dynamite had been in his citadel, anyway.

"What's in it for me?" he asked in a booming voice.

"For one, you get your fort reverted back to original form. For another, the WAC (Wildlife and Animal Corp) will ignore the fact that you're a cannibal, and we'll seek further collaboration in the future."

"Okay, I'll do what you ask. Um… what did you guys want me to do?"

The coyote gave Gregory a crooked grin, despite the fact that coyotes probably can't do that. "Dig up the root of that tree over there."

So Gregory walked over to the nearby willow tree, wondering what this was all about. He dug a big hole, and he knelt down and groped about until he felt the root. He tugged it free, and brought it back to the coyote.

The coyote blinked. "Wow!" he barked, obviously deeply amused. "You're quite gullible, aren't you?" He ran away, laughing, leaving Gregory deeply confused and very angry.

However, Gregory did get his base back, and soon he was back to terrorizing other unfortunate trees in the area.

Gregory lived happily ever after, until the next time I drag him into one of my stories.

THE END!