"Cross my heart and hope to die."

That stupid saying is all a lie.

The promise made, was so easily broken,

One trip to your mind, no need for tokens.

Yet you still go for promises,

You believe it but you know what it is.

The lies, the hate,

You try to escape,

But there's no escape, not from the mind,

It'll keep following you til the end of time.

So you keep smiling just to hide all the pain,

But even when you're happy, you're sad all the same.

So all you do is hide, hide from the faces,

Try to find escape in different places.

But you can't, and now all you can do is scream,

Now you understand what it's like to be me.

But for me, there are no reasons to be sad,

I'm just sick of the good, I'm just sick of the bad.

And I cry, yes it's true but not that much,

When I cry you never hear it, cause it's always a hush.

But life is a bitch, and always will be,

Sometimes I wish that it wasn't a bitch to me.

I would be smiling, not dying,

Have to deal with dying,

Have to deal with those demons disguised as friends,

Then they leave you lost, and you never know why it ends.

I can tell you "Keep your head up, things will get better."

But to me it's a lie like a Christmas day letter.

So I guess it's better if you deal with it yourself,

Even though holding it in is damage to your health.

But it's hard finding some to talk to,

Someone who has the same feelings as you do.

So just like me you wanna scream, at the sky,

Asking all those lies "Why can't I just die?"

But let me tell, it's not easy as that,

You have people worth living for, stopping your self-attacks.

And believe me, I've tried, I end up up putting the knife away,

A voice yells at me "You ain't gonna die, no not today!"

Then what am I suppose to do if I've given up on life?

The voice yells at me "Grow up and be a wife."

So I guess my life goes on as much as I don't want it too,

But I want to live at the same time, so what am i suppose to do?