I feel like shouting, my brains exploding

its a mess, this shit called my life is.

Why why why, i feel like asking again and again

Why did you do this to me?

Why this belligerent spell that cause me so restless?

My desire and my love is another thing,

which one is real, which one is unreal?

Please answer me, I'm desperate for it.

Get me out from this confusing shit.

Why even though you embody everything i love, or thought i will love,

did i feel not even a shred of desire for you?

Your perfection in my eyes, I'll kill for you.

I want to be with you, together forever.

Yet i knew i would never desire you,

because my desire lies in another place.

Both of you are like mirrors in reverse,

You are nothing alike, both of you.

He i dislike with my whole soul, his nature of which I'm so averse.

Yet i desire him with a passion that would make me blue.

Your personality i long for more than anything, my dear animus.

The idea of you make me long for you like a succubus.

Yet i can't for the love of mine confess to you my lust,

As i would in contempt for him to speak my desire most.

Was it distance, or mere pretense?

What is love, what is lust?

Which one will prevail over the other?

My body and soul divided into two, the hopeless idealist.

My love a collection of hollow abyss,

But relinquish it i must not,

For the great lust would get me shot.

I am indecisive, dear mine.

I do not know exactly what i pine.

But ask this once more i must,

What is love, what is lust?