Doubt

Confusion
Oh, the confusion
Of unwittingly paining someone else
You should have told me what I was doing
Warned me
Scolded me
Hurt me
But you did.

I thought I could help you
Make you better
Did I? Really?
No, I doubt it.
Sow the seeds
Over the waterlogged fields
Nurture them, grow them
Love them
And now the fields burn dry

You have scorched me
Burnt me and singed me
Broken and beat me in almost every way
Those careful precise words of mine
Are not real
Just an illusion. A sham.
A mockery.

Forgiveness is overrated, you sometimes think,
But you always pray I do for you
There is nothing from you
From what I feel
But I hope you do so anyway
I hope so
No, I doubt it