This is my experience watching The Book of Mormon at the Pantages Theatre. Before I get in to that, I would like to clear a few things up. I didn't think I had to do this but here it goes. I am not a man. Let me clarify. Don Carlos was a character I played in my college production of "A Flea In Her Ear" in April/May of this year. If you guys have time, check it out. It's really funny. In fact, I will be writing about the further adventures of Don Carlos, but since it's technically a fan fiction, it will be up on . Enough people think I'm male, so I thought it necessary to bring it up. So, without further ado, here is what happened.

My whole night started when my home girl came to pick me up. She had leather seats and I live a good long drive from Los Angeles. You can say that those seats were pretty wet when we got there. So anyways, we get there and take pictures in front of the theatre (that has been decked out by the way). Me in my little black dress and big ass pumps, her in her little bow tie and jacket. We enter and it's like we stepped in to the Batman universe. Not like the Adam West Batman or even the Christian Bale Batman or god forbid the George Clooney Batman, but like the animated series. It was all Art Deco. Such a beautiful, stunning place.

There was an open bar right as we entered, but I decided that I was going to save my first drink until the day after with the familia. Besides, there was a line a mile long to it. We wouldn't be able to get a drink in before the show anyway. So we went in to our seating section, Mezzanine Left Center. I don't know why more people don't jump for the mezzanine seats. It's an amazing view, even if the seats are cheaper. When I sat down, I thought I was going to have a bad view, but the most amazing thing happened. I don't know if it's magic or what but I could see the entire stage clear between the two people in front of me. And since I was in the mezzanine, I had an opportunity to look up without looking like a weirdo. The actual theatre was so amazing. The lobby was nice, but it was nothing compared to the interior. There was a huge chandelier that was held up by a mystery force. Since I am a theatre person, I pay attention to the little things, which I will go over a bit later.

Now for the actual show. A minute until the show was announced and everyone went freaking banaynays. They were cheering even though they probably had no idea what the heck it was about. Then the lights went out and the cheering was even louder. People get so rowdy. So anyways, the show started and I enjoyed what I saw. And what I saw, let me tell you. There were jokes that everyone got right away and then there were the little jokes that I thought were freaking hilarious but no one laughed at and I was the weirdo laughing by my damn self. Like when the missionaries said they hadn't baptized anyone and Elder Cunningham says that it's practically nothing. That just got me because it is nothing. Or when Elder Cunningham tried to ring the non-existent door bell and slid his finger down the side of the wall. People got that one real slow. Or when the X-Ray showing The Book of Mormon shoved up Elder Price's ass appeared. I knew it was coming so I laughed right away, but it took everyone else a good minute before they were laughing. People.

Did I say there were spoilers here? Sorry about that. So intermission and I catch myself admiring the architecture again. Then later a guy had a bag of skittles with him during the second act. I could smell the rainbow the entire time. I wanted some but it was a strange man and I'm not some kind of creeper. I wasn't going to be like "Excuse me sir. I can smell your rainbow. May I have some so I can have a taste?" So now on to the songs. The songs were way, way, way more epic than what is heard on the album. My personal favorite, Man Up, was freaking amazing. OMGosh you guys. You don't even know. And don't get me started on Spooky Mormon Hell Dream. Let's just say the simulated gay sex was something to behold.

Another thing to behold was the lighting and changes. As I stated before, I pay attention to the little things. What do I mean? Well I'll tell you, crazy readership. I am all about theatre, which doesn't only involve acting. For example, I noticed when the lights slowly dimmed during Turn It Off, when Elders Church and "Poptarts" Thomas (cause he loves 'em so much) were singing of stuff they really should be sad about. After the dim, the light pops back to full. Another thing I noticed was the set changes and some of the actors weaving in between them effortlessly. There must be a deep level of trust going on there. But the simplest thing I believe were the disco balls. What disco balls? Jeebus Christ super star you ask a lot of questions. They had disco balls over the stage. I spotted them when we entered and wondered what they were for. Well during You and Me (But Mostly Me), they shone a light to those disco balls and the whole theatre lit up. I felt like a part of the action, which was awesome.

So now, we come to the end. I was sad when it ended. I had enjoyed it very much. People were giving the ever sought after "Standing O" during the curtain call. I knew there was a bit more singing left so I thanked tha lawd that I thought to wear my big ass pumps (how do you trademark something? I want to trademark "big ass pumps"). People were kind of taken aback by the running gag of the show which has to do with pre hatched flies in a certain part of anatomy of the doctor. They laughed of course, but they weren't expecting it. So I guess what I'm saying is that this show has two thumbs and two big toes up. It was really raunchy but it was all in good fun. There was even a good moral to the story (who'd a thunk?), which I might add got a huge applause after they said it. I truly recommend people watch it. If you are in the LA area, best buy them tickets fast. If not, then see if they are touring anywhere around you. So this is the end of my mostly useless rant. Hope it at least made you giggle. If not, then I don't know what funny is.

Much love and a heckuva lot of Revolvers

Virdi G: The gal behind The Mad Matador

(Maybe I can trademark "Love and Revolvers")