It's over now.
No more waiting,
No more fighting.
Dark hair buried in the pillow case,
Bright eyes hidden behind dark lashes,
A tiny fist clenching the covers,
As you toss and turn.
You're murmuring in your sleep,
Stirring, just a little,
Enough that I know you're waking,
Enough to scare me.
I watch you as you wake.
Eyes are heavy with sleep
I hope a part of you is still dreaming
I hope it'll soften the blow.
You're looking at me now,
Hands pulling your teddy close.
Still looking with bright eyes, dark pupils,
I'm sitting on your bed,
Taking your hands and holding them in my own.
Comforted by their warmth while you ask me
Unanswerable question with a nervous tongue.
"Mummy's gone away,"
I watch with tear filled lashes
As your scared eyes take it in,
"She was very poorly and she's gone away."
"But she loves us, she'll always love."
You're asking questions and I'm crying.
I'm holding you in my arms, shaking body,
Not quite sure you understand.
"Is Mummy dead?"
Your blunt murmur can only be answered
With a weak nod of the head,
And a petrified whimpers.
"Did you see the man?"
You ask and I look up, perplexed
But you don't elaborate
And I wipe the hair from your face.
I watch as it dawns on you,
Never have I felt a pain.
You pull me close and make me swear,
"Never leave me Daddy."