Time seemed to stand still. I guess it was from being in Tyler's arms, away from it all and not wanting it to end. Could that be the case? I didn't really know nor care. The embrace, so warm and inviting was all that I needed right now. It was also all that I needed to break down, too. Everything had come too much, including stuff from so long ago that I'd almost forgotten, and was coming out in tear form against Tyler's chest.
"There's more to this than struggling with meeting your suiter," Tyler said knowingly, picking upon everything about me as usual. His hand crept into my hair and it soothed me instantly, just like I remembered. "But, are you going to tell me?"
"N-no. I can't," I managed as I tried to gain control of myself. I could only imagine how stupid I looked. I caught Tyler's eyes then and I frowned- why did he look hurt? Then I understood. "It's not that I don't want to, because I do. You don't understand how much I trust you already. It's just, you don't know me. You don't trust me."
His fingers curled around my chin as he pulled my face up so I had no choice but to look at him. Then, as quick as a flash, he closed his eyes. "Watch me," he said. "Your eyes are murky grey, sparkling in the sunlight when you're looking up. To most, you look like you have a permanent scowl but I can often see the faint curling to your lips when you're in a good mood. You just use the scowl so people will leave you alone. You've got perfect lips that are often thin and together but lie better when in your distinct love heart shaped smile... you're beautiful and when you're in love you look like this..." He opened his eyes and looked at my face properly then. I didn't know how I looked- I guessed my mouth was open a bit in shock, eyes wide with wonder and cheeks a bright red. Still, by the look on his pleased face, Tyler was impressed. He leaned his head to mine and my heart seemed to palpitate.
"Poet," I teased, turning away- was I so nervous that I couldn't let him too close? It was just because I had to work out what was going on first, I told myself.
Tyler chuckled, pulling back and shaking his head. "Miss O'Hare, you're absolutely difficult."
"Don't call me that!" I gave him a quick glare to prove my point.
"I hate you." Still, I couldn't help but smile. The boy was so infuriating that I loved him. Even now, it was the same.
We spent ages just talking, enjoying ourselves as we chatted. It really was like old times. It was horrible when I realised we were heading back. I sighed, soon faced with the daunting and miserable home. I looked to Tyler, only to find him looking as miserable as I felt. I didn't understand and was about to question him until I considered something. Maybe he did know me better than I should give him credit. Maybe he did trust me...
"Ty, make sure I get to see you again."
"Thought you didn't want to see me again," he teased, hand cupping my chin as he made sure I met his eyes, a crooked grin on his lips.
"Women easily change their minds," I replied, grinning wickedly.
Tyler's chuckle only lasted a moment. Then it was gone, a frown on his face as his eyes flickered to the house. "There's someone in your room."
" No," he muttered, his hand finally dropping. "I think it was your suiter."
"That son of a-," I growled, already attempting to climb the side of the house. "I will kill him!"
There was a wisp of a chuckle but nothing else. I was too busy breathlessly as I climbed up, finally making it to my bedroom. I pushed the door open, huffing before throwing myself in. I didn't bother looking back- I had shouting to do. Narrowed eyes scanned the room before landing on Seth who was sat on the edge of my bed, smirking and seeming to enjoying himself. Something that seemed to boil my blood even more.
"You utter trout! What are you doing here? Out!"
Instantly Seth stood up, looking as if I hadn't shouted a single thing. He just grinned. "Fine, love. They think we've spent the afternoon together, anyway."
"I hate you," I spat, taking to pushing him out. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible. Thankfully he obliged, heading out of the door moments later, even shutting the door behind him. His grinning face seemed to be etched in my mind though.
"Are you ill again?"
Thank God my mother had knocked. I was kneeling on my bed, hand still under my pillow where I had stuffed a book- yes, I had snuck into Jesse's room and seen if any of his books had information that might help. I'd also looked for a good book to read but they all looked way too boring for me. Looking a bit flustered, I turned to face her.
"I was just cleaning up," I lied, shrugging my shoulders as I settled back on the edge of the bed.
She frowned, walking over and sitting by my side. Her blue eyes, the only thing apart from age that made us look any different I was told, studied my face, looking concerned. I tried to prove I was alright- the paleness was natural, she knew that, but I knew I looked a bit flustered. Heck, I absolutely felt it after the time I've been having lately.
Her arms wound around me as I expected. They held me close to her thin frame. It was so normal, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to pretend. I pretended things were fine, that I was in the right year and just spending a special moment with my mother. Tyler was at work or something and I was just waiting.
Then it happened. I couldn't breathe. There was pains shooting through my whole body and I screamed. There was beeping, screaming and some talking I couldn't understand. I was wriggling, trying to get away. There was a huge weight on my chest and shoulders. None of it would go. I screamed more, wanting it to all stop. Just as it got unbearable, it suddenly stopped. All but the shouting. It was different shouting as I was moved about. Everything was different, I could tell but I dared to open my eyes.
I'd been dying again.
"Is she going to be alright?"
"She needs to be alright! We have a very important meal tonight!"
"Our daughter needs to get better before she marries, Eli."
I must have blacked out. Again, everything was different. I was so comfortable and warm, wrapped up in bed if I wasn't mistaken. Someone was fussing with the covers whilst my parents talked on the other side of the room. I groaned, trying to block it all out- I'd been dying again, I knew that was the main thing I had to think about.
"De?" Movement followed by weight on the side of the bed meant Mum had joined me. She took my hand as I opened my eyes and smiled up at her, trying to help wipe the concerned look of her face. Again.
"M'fine," I murmured. I went to sit up when her hands met my shoulder, forcing me back. That's what the weight on my shoulders felt like before... that explained that bit, at least.
"You need to rest, dear," she said, kissing my forehead before correcting the covers again.
I groaned. Bed rest was not something I wanted. I felt fine and I had to continue researching- or see Tyler. Bed rest wasn't going to happen. Still, I gave a nod as I settled down to play the part. I gave a quick look around the room- Eli was at the door, watching me and mother. He looked annoyed and I couldn't care less that I had ruined his plans. Martha was in here too, stood in the corner with her hands behind her back.
"Fine," I said, knowing it wasn't the case. Martha would help me, it would be alright.
Mum continued to watch me, checking I wasn't planning to deceive her. Was I a rebel even here? I smiled weakly, putting on the tired and ill image. She seemed convinced then and with one last kiss to my forehead, stood up and mumbled a goodbye before guiding Eli out. Once they were gone, a sigh of relief escaped my lips as I sat up.
"How long have I been out?"
"Half a day, De."
"Did I miss much?"
Martha shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "Your father didn't seem impressed with your fainting. Seth came to check on you but had some appointment. Other than that, your mother has been at your side and that is all."
"Right," I said with a small nod, stretching my legs out.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Devon?"
"Much better. I need to go see Ty is all."
"He's going out of town today," she said. Suddenly she looked up as my eyes widened.
"What? Where? Why?!" I couldn't believe what she was saying as I spluttered. No way. Why would the boy I loved go out of town like that? Did he not love me? Things were getting crazier...
"He's moving, Devon."
"I don't believe you! He loves me."
"Exactly..." Before I could question her, the door opened. I was about to glare, throw something or scream- or all three at once- when I saw who it was. Jesse's eyes met mine instantly and I relaxed. My older brother was capable of sorting everything out. He came over and wrapped his arms around me without a word. I gave a sob, burying my head in his shoulder.
It didn't take me long to pull myself away, rub at my eyes and take a deep breath. "I have to do something. He's going and... and."
"Shush, De. Relax for a moment." He rubbed at my back but I was struggling to even think straight. Nothing felt right. It wasn't that I wanted answers or Tyler's help to get back but I needed /him/. My Tyler should not be running away from me. Back in my own time, he was doing everything to keep me there whilst being tormented by the fact I was dying and it showed. "He's an idiot and you do have a suiter..."
Jesse wasn't my Jesse, I suddenly realised. It took me a moment to realise- Jesse was more or less my Jesse but this Jesse was brought up different and yes, deep down I'm sure the same but there will be many difference. Like this. This Jesse had gone to university and moved out, he'd learnt to live on his own and be his own person. He helped teach me that. This Jesse went to university but lived at home and was so used to being told what to do. Besides, rebellious women weren't too commonplace I suspected. Really confusing but I realised it meant I had to imagine what my Jesse would say.
What are you doing staying here, silly girl?! Don't you dare think you're in a movie because he is not coming back to admit his undying love for you. You love him and he loves you, go after him! Now!
I was up in seconds, grinning at the boy. "Thank you. You're right, I need to. Now, give me your clothes."
"I didn't even-"
"Give me your clothes!" I was snapping at him, not something I wanted to do, but I had to hurry. I closed my eyes and turned around. His clothes wouldn't even fit me, he was much taller than me but it would have to do. Thankfully, with a bit of muttering, I had the boy's clothes flung at me before he went off to the bathroom.