A lock on the heart closes emotions,
a barrier around the mind blocks thoughts.
If I were to close off my own person,
would protecting myself from reality's horrors be achieved?
The ear-piercing levels of disappointed parents,
the pain of a bruised body,
peers' scrutinizing judgment,
I want to block out everything.
To become an emotionless shell that can feel no pain.
Waste of time, useless;
call me anything you want;
failure, piece of crap.
But all I ever wanted was
to relieve myself of the pain
to let go of the misery inside,
to feel something other than depression,
to be happy.