Thirst, I'm dying for my thirst,
Drink, I need to quench my thirst.
Life or death, which is better,
Life or death, what's the answer.
No matter what he did he could not fight his parched throat, which was causing him to crave for a long drink. He had almost forgotten what it tasted like and what it felt like as it passed through his throat.
How long had it been since he had his last drink. He felt as if his skull was splitting and his environment was moving.
Again and again, his mind and body were telling him.
He needed to drink so bad, his body was shaking with the need.
Hugging himself while sitting on his unmade bed, he had a half filled water pitcher beside him on top of his side table and with a shaky hand he tried to lift it with both hands to a glass and was spilling more water than filling the glass, but with his perseverance he did accomplish to put some in the glass. He tried to put the pitcher down but dropped it instead and spilled the rest of its content.
With shaky hands he lifted the glass to his lips and tried to drink, but his hands were shaking so bad he was spilling some of it even before it reached his lips. When the water hit his mouth, he barely tasted the water, and could not swallow it down, it was running down from the side of his lips.
Threw the glass to the wall with the little strength he had, but it had only landed on the floor unbroken, he then groaned in frustration and slowly wiped the back of his left hand to his mouth. He wished, he was brave enough to end it all. But, he was a coward. Or maybe, he was just cruel enough to love life.
He can't take it anymore. His willpower was overcame by his thirst, he lost his own battle.
With shaky legs, he slowly stood-up. A glint came to his eyes. Drink, he will have a drink.
It was already night when Jae went out wearing a hat and a jacket with hands inside the pockets, he was walking slowly on the alleyway, the smell was drowning him, but he kept a tight control on himself. He was observing individuals, couples and groups of people around him. Some were walking briskly, while others doing it leisurely. There were those buying some items in the stores, others eating in front of kiosks, some eating inside the restaurants, and others eating while walking.
Food. The smell, the smell was making him more dizzy.
He wet his whole lips with the tip of his tongue. His mouth was so dry.
A couple holding hands, smiling at each other, and giggling passed by in front of him caught his attention and became drawn to them. He followed them, and saw them went inside a pub. He followed them inside.
As he got in, he saw the guy wave a hand to a group seated together. The place was not packed with a crowd, but there were just a few customers.
He went to the bar, sat down, and ordered a bloody mary.
The bar tender placed his order in front of him and left him to himself. He looked as if he did not want to talk with anyone. After awhile, he was there holding the drink he had in front of him. He lifted the glass to his nose, and placed the tip to his lips, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to see Seun.
Eyes back to the drink, puts it down on the table with fingers playing with the stem, he then spoke quietly, almost inaudibly, "Hmm You're here."
He came closer to him and spoke near his ear in whisper, "Yes."
"Are you alone?"
"No, I have others with me."
"Hmm I see."
"You are weak."
The truth. Now, he was the weak one, and needed to be looked after. Someone could easily take him down, if they so wish.
"Come, sit with me, order a drink."
"I am fine."
The eyes were looking at the floor and not at him, when he looked back at him. A grin came to him and replaced with a frown unconsciously. Gazing at his profile, he lifted his arm and with his pointed finger he lightly touched Seun in the cheek, and said with sadness, "You are too good for me." He in turn only remained silent.
Waiting for a response, but since nothing came, his arm went around his neck and grabbed him closer with his head going to his shoulder and accidentally had his lips touch his jaw. His dizziness was growing worse, unconsciously said, "Hey, hmmm, why do you smell good? Hmm?"
Realizing how much weaker he was, Seun moved and took his arm off of him and placed his own arm across his back and to his side, and said, "Come, we need to get home. We prepared something for you."
Someone came in, and as if electricity was in the air, and both of them turned towards the door. It's Hujon walking towards them.
"Hmm He is here, too."
As if Hujon was gliding towards them, and he stopped beside Seun. He looked directly at Jae, and said, "Come, it's time."
Without breaking eye contact. Those words, for no reason was funny to him and he giggled, and whispered inaudibly, "As always, commanding."
Slowly he raised his hand and with a finger gestured for Hujon to come closer. Seun stepped aside and Hujon moved in his place. He gestured again for him to come closer. Without hesitation he moved and bent closer to him and looked at him directly.
"Hey, hmm You came to fetch me?"
"You need to come home."
Taking a deep breath, Jae could only look at him.
With a sad voice, he whispered, "You too are too good for me." He raised his hand and patted him on the cheek.
"Come. Let's go home."
"Alright. I'm too tired to argue with you."
After taking a deep breath, wanting to take his last look, his gaze searched for the couple he followed inside the pub. Finding them to be having conversations with who he assumed were their friends, he briefly smiled sadly.
Slowly he stood up and almost stumbled if not for the arms of Seun and Hujon assisting him.
Without saying a word, the other two let him go, and he walked on his own, albeit slowly. The two stayed beside him.
When they reached their home, there was an ongoing fest. There were none when he first left just awhile ago. And before stepping inside the house, Jae could hear the music and laughter.
"We prepared something for you."
With a dark face, he whispered, "Let me guess, a party for me."
"We do, what is best for you." It was only Hujon who had the courage to speak.
He could not help but laugh sarcastically, "Life or death, which is better."
Silence was their only reply.
With a deep breath, with sadness in his heart, "Come, let us join the party." And with that said, they entered their home.
Laughter and music went on for hours, but after a long while, there was only music that could be heard. A different feast was happening.
The thirst was being quenched and soon pets would be fed and will eat their full.
Jae was back to his old self. Again he was gorgeous, young and beautiful.
"Master," Seun bowed his head, and said, "you need your bath and change of clothes before you go to sleep."
"Young master," Hujon bowed his head and spoke, "I will prepare your bath for you."
Drenched in blood, he can only look at the handsome men in front of him, and with a sad voice he said, "You are too good for me. Go, and do as you wish."
Both moved as one and others like them, willing to serve him, for the long days of their lives.
Jae could only sigh with sadness in his heart.
Life or death, which is better.