I'm always afraid of the dark now,

Afraid of the mysterious night now...

Because you might be waiting there,

Hiding somewhere.

.

Pangs of fear come in, memories, songs, and shadows.

Strange sounds frighten me in the night.

As I lay awake so late, my muscles tense tight.

.

I need a lock on my door, my family.

I need to feel safe, but I'm so afraid.

.

Dizzy, sick, and paranoid now, small and alone.

Shouldn't I have some sort of liberation?

The weight had so gradually waned,

that it took a relapse to bring a revelation.

.

I find myself cowering. I used to around you.

I flinch, I jump, I stutter, I hide-

Before you, I never used to.

.

This weak creature was always inside,

but you put it on center stage.

You took me into your arms and into your filthy cage.

.

Your so-called "love" -I spit out the word-

Was oh-so false, sickening, absurd.

.

Only the naive and ignorant believed.

Despite my actions, I was not one of the deceived.

.

I no longer believe that I deserved my punishment,

But I still think so little of myself,

Still, it's 4:03 now, and I'm building my personal hell.

.

It's 4:05 and I'm no the least bit tired.

I may not even sleep tonight.

I don't know why, and it's just not right.

.

I will try anyway. Tomorrow is a test.

No, it's today, now. Tonight.

(Be Strong, little one.)

Put up a fight.

~ SB