I'm always afraid of the dark now,

Afraid of the mysterious night now...

Because you might be waiting there,

Hiding somewhere.


Pangs of fear come in, memories, songs, and shadows.

Strange sounds frighten me in the night.

As I lay awake so late, my muscles tense tight.


I need a lock on my door, my family.

I need to feel safe, but I'm so afraid.


Dizzy, sick, and paranoid now, small and alone.

Shouldn't I have some sort of liberation?

The weight had so gradually waned,

that it took a relapse to bring a revelation.


I find myself cowering. I used to around you.

I flinch, I jump, I stutter, I hide-

Before you, I never used to.


This weak creature was always inside,

but you put it on center stage.

You took me into your arms and into your filthy cage.


Your so-called "love" -I spit out the word-

Was oh-so false, sickening, absurd.


Only the naive and ignorant believed.

Despite my actions, I was not one of the deceived.


I no longer believe that I deserved my punishment,

But I still think so little of myself,

Still, it's 4:03 now, and I'm building my personal hell.


It's 4:05 and I'm no the least bit tired.

I may not even sleep tonight.

I don't know why, and it's just not right.


I will try anyway. Tomorrow is a test.

No, it's today, now. Tonight.

(Be Strong, little one.)

Put up a fight.

~ SB