It's my birthday today, and I should be happy today, I thought I would be, or I would try to be happy, but then again, I was reminded, that I should not be happy, not even on this day. Not even on my birthday.

Tears, why am I shedding tears on my birthday. Why can't I smile and continue smiling today, even just today. Why must sadness be my companion today, even on this day. Why must I be reminded on this day, that I was sad. That I was really sad, that I was just trying to be happy. Why can't I be happy, why.

Why can't I keep my smile permanent. Why is my laughter so light, that it fades so easily, taken by the wind. Why?!

I thought I was doing better. As I continue with my life, and continue breathing. Why is this pain, with me, crushing me.

Laugh, I want to laugh so hard, laugh, laugh so loud, laugh, crazy laugh, laugh, hysterical laugh.

But, all I have is tears, falling unrelentingly from my eyes, and silent quivering lips, with no sound produced.