4th Oct 2012
Answer the calling of my soul
Bind the wound that it be whole
I've lost myself. I know I've gained
Too much instead, and am ashamed.
Dare I mention what I fear
The Truth denies what I held dear
And grants instead true liberty
To souls in darkness, like to me
Reach to touch the substitute
Of all I was, but I compute
It not- why should it slip away
Now the night fades into day?
Is it right that part of self should die
Although my God indeed supply
My need? But heart confused and dim
Does not yet know to trust in Him.
He knows it all. The doubt, the loss
The secret burden in my cross
Still unexplained through page or voice
The consequences of my choice.
To die! To face that death in vain
A greater price than all the pain.
To lose myself. Although I trust
In God. Remains it that I must.
Surrender only to God's hand
For only He will understand
That part of self, the part of heart
That I now face will soon depart
There are no prayers for its return
Although I ache, although I yearn
I know that only Truth will be
Forever in Eternity
I pray instead that God will grant
Especial mercy, supplicant
That God in kindness hears my cry
And gives me life for when I die.