4th Oct 2012

Answer the calling of my soul

Bind the wound that it be whole

I've lost myself. I know I've gained

Too much instead, and am ashamed.


Dare I mention what I fear

The Truth denies what I held dear

And grants instead true liberty

To souls in darkness, like to me


Reach to touch the substitute

Of all I was, but I compute

It not- why should it slip away

Now the night fades into day?


Is it right that part of self should die

Although my God indeed supply

My need? But heart confused and dim

Does not yet know to trust in Him.


He knows it all. The doubt, the loss

The secret burden in my cross

Still unexplained through page or voice

The consequences of my choice.


To die! To face that death in vain

A greater price than all the pain.

To lose myself. Although I trust

In God. Remains it that I must.


Surrender only to God's hand

For only He will understand

That part of self, the part of heart

That I now face will soon depart


There are no prayers for its return

Although I ache, although I yearn

I know that only Truth will be

Forever in Eternity


I pray instead that God will grant

Especial mercy, supplicant

That God in kindness hears my cry

And gives me life for when I die.