4th Oct 2012

Answer the calling of my soul

Bind the wound that it be whole

I've lost myself. I know I've gained

Too much instead, and am ashamed.

.

Dare I mention what I fear

The Truth denies what I held dear

And grants instead true liberty

To souls in darkness, like to me

.

Reach to touch the substitute

Of all I was, but I compute

It not- why should it slip away

Now the night fades into day?

.

Is it right that part of self should die

Although my God indeed supply

My need? But heart confused and dim

Does not yet know to trust in Him.

.

He knows it all. The doubt, the loss

The secret burden in my cross

Still unexplained through page or voice

The consequences of my choice.

.

To die! To face that death in vain

A greater price than all the pain.

To lose myself. Although I trust

In God. Remains it that I must.

.

Surrender only to God's hand

For only He will understand

That part of self, the part of heart

That I now face will soon depart

.

There are no prayers for its return

Although I ache, although I yearn

I know that only Truth will be

Forever in Eternity

.

I pray instead that God will grant

Especial mercy, supplicant

That God in kindness hears my cry

And gives me life for when I die.