how long has it been,

since i last felt it,

the butterflies on my stomach,

the choking sensation on my throat-

seconds to explode,

my vision blurring.

my heart screaming no, no, no

you can't fall- not that fast,

feelings beating reason,

i am taking it as it is,

making each moment mine,

its the finish line.

was it really that easy- to fall?

my knees felt weak. my mind a complete mess.

collections of denial building up my soul,

yet as you smile,

i wish i could open my lips and say,

"I love you, darling- i love you."

i saw you flitting,

i felt my eyes searching,

for your presence, for your face.

small recognition bubbling happiness,

its killing me,

this love, this lust, this desire,

i close my eyes,

i'm sure,

i've never felt this before,

but i had,

and i had forgotten it,

this heart blazing inside my chest,

threatening to burst and cry,

sucking me dry,

my soul, a malady,

my mind, a tragedy,

my love, a comedy.

don't hate me, my dear, you'll hurt me.

don't love me, my dear, you'll kill me.

i don't know what it is,

that makes you so attractive,

all i know is,

i can't help but be so secretive,

as my eyes search you amidst the crowd,

i love it so much to see you pout.

your face a mass of perfection,

your voice a shameful hallucination,

your presence a morbid calculation

please, oh god, don't let me fall,

it would take me my all,

if ever i did fall.

I'm obsessed, I'm depraved, I'm frustrated.

god help me, i think i have fallen.