how long has it been,
since i last felt it,
the butterflies on my stomach,
the choking sensation on my throat-
seconds to explode,
my vision blurring.
my heart screaming no, no, no
you can't fall- not that fast,
feelings beating reason,
i am taking it as it is,
making each moment mine,
its the finish line.
was it really that easy- to fall?
my knees felt weak. my mind a complete mess.
collections of denial building up my soul,
yet as you smile,
i wish i could open my lips and say,
"I love you, darling- i love you."
i saw you flitting,
i felt my eyes searching,
for your presence, for your face.
small recognition bubbling happiness,
its killing me,
this love, this lust, this desire,
i close my eyes,
i've never felt this before,
but i had,
and i had forgotten it,
this heart blazing inside my chest,
threatening to burst and cry,
sucking me dry,
my soul, a malady,
my mind, a tragedy,
my love, a comedy.
don't hate me, my dear, you'll hurt me.
don't love me, my dear, you'll kill me.
i don't know what it is,
that makes you so attractive,
all i know is,
i can't help but be so secretive,
as my eyes search you amidst the crowd,
i love it so much to see you pout.
your face a mass of perfection,
your voice a shameful hallucination,
your presence a morbid calculation
please, oh god, don't let me fall,
it would take me my all,
if ever i did fall.
I'm obsessed, I'm depraved, I'm frustrated.
god help me, i think i have fallen.