(a/n wow, first story I've ever written that ever came close to being published. This story is mainly based on Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Chinese, and maybe Shinto mythology. I was inspired after reading Journey to the West and Fengshen Bang, two very popular medieval Chinese novels. I will try to update once a week, maybe more if I get enough reviews.)

When most people thought of hell they thought of molten lava, volcanoes, and fiery landscapes. Yama wished that was the case. Every day the dead lined up to receive judgement from him and to be given their next incarnation. Every day he met famous rulers and penniless beggars. It didn't matter, they were all dead, the wicked and the good. People who hurt other people, people who who took whatever they wanted regardless, and people who did things so unspeakable Yama's blood boil in anger. Then there were good people. People who selflessly helped the less fortunate, people who sacrificed themselves for their friends and families, and people who did things so great and benevolent, Yama had to force himself not to prostrate himself to them in respect. The only people who did not fall under his jurisdiction were Immortals, Buddhas, Bodhisattva, or demigods( people who had obtained godhood.)
"Next, Edward MacGregor,infamous rapist." the demons brought the guy up front to him. "Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well." Yama said." Thought you could get away with it, hmm? Didn't think anyone was watching. We don't take kindly to your kind here."
"Hey man, I'm innocent," the man stammered. "I swear,it wasn't me."
"Yeah, that's what they all say." Yama motioned towards the demons to drag him into a pit." Like I said, we don't take kindly to your kind here. Next."
A rhesus monkey walked up to him. "Wait," Yama called to another of his demon lieutenants. "What's your name?"
"Red-Eye-Red-Mouth-Grey-Tooth,"the demon said. Those Chinese demons had the funniest names, Yama sighed.
"Where's Fred Phelps, he's right on the list, he's supposed to be next?"
"It seems old man Phelps jumped bail ...again." Red-Eye-Red-Mouth-You-Get-The-Idea said.
"That's the third time this week. Jesus, what is he, an Immortal or something?" Yama asked. The demon was about to speak but Yama interrupted him. "No,that's a scary thought."
"Well," he turned to the rhesus monkey. "Sorry for the wait Mr. Rhesus Monkey #1030."
The monkey made a screeching sound. "Thank you," Yama said,flattered. "I was trying to go for the rugged King of Hell look.I like your fur, do you use shampoo-" seeing his lieutenant's disapproving face he coughed and stopped the small talk. "Anyway, you're going to be reborn as a human boy named Nezha Fitzpatrick. You will be torn apart by hungry wolves," the monkey screeched in terror." Oh, sorry, wrong file. That is you but you won't be torn apart by wolves." the rhesus monkey sighed in relief." So, good luck Rhesus Monkey #1030. See you in eighty or ninety years if you live that long."
The monkey screeched his thanks, praying that he wouldn't have to come back here before being taken to Earth by the demons to be reborn as a human.
"So, can we take a break? Poetic justice makes me hungry."


20 year old Margaret sat on the couch, crying. Her husband had run off with another woman, taking all their money and valuables. Why didn't she listen to her mother, God rest her soul. She was all alone and pregnant, which made the situation ten times worse.

" God, Jesus, Buddha, Joan of Arc, if any of you are up there, please help me." she felt a kick and automatically smiled. She would love her child even if her good-for-nothing ex-husband didn't." There, there little one, you will grow up to be a fighter." she said before going to sleep.


In the park, three old men gathered together to meet after so many years. " So," the oldest one said, casting a spell to make sure no was watching." Tonight, the preparations have been made? Each child has been conceived or will be conceived?"

" Of course," a Tibetan monk said, not unkindly. He didn't look young or old but right in between." Yama has just sent one of our subjects to his new body right now. Ksitigarbha said that the other seven are soon to follow."

" Can you trust her?" the third man, who was dressed in Han Chinese clothing.

" Of course," the monk said sharply." Ksitigarbha knows what she's talking about. If Bodhidharma was here now, you'd receive a slap with the handle of a a cane."

The first man, who was dressed in a overcoat, sighed." Confucius, Gautama, calm down. Everything's taken care of. When the Red Horned Demon King gathers his armies to invade the heavens, Indra and the Jade Emperor won't be prepared. The Four Heavenly Kings may be of some use but even they can't reckon with some the Demon King's champions. The Eight are necessary."

The two other religious teachers nodded in agreement." Now, I have a plan..."

(a/n so, what do you think? Please r&r, it makes my day when you do. I read the name of some Chinese demons and deities and other mythological characters and they're either just a kind of sentence or refer to a title. So I'm not just being lazy at naming my characters or be stereotypical. :) )