INT: ARTEMIS' ROOM – MORNING

White type on the screen saying 'SIX MONTHS LATER'. Diana is just waking up. She looks at Artemis wistfully.

ARTEMIS (opening one eye)

Quit staring at me. I hate that.

DIANA

Liar.

ARTEMIS

Damn. Why do you know me so well?

She stretches sleepily.

You wanna wear trousers or a skirt today?

DIANA

Skirt. I'll get them.

She pulls two sets of uniform out of Artemis' wardrobe and pushes one at her.

And scrub your face, you look like a whore.

ARTEMIS

I love it when you talk dirty. When are you gonna get a boyfriend?

DIANA

Sometime. I guess.

ARTEMIS

What's up with you? Boyfriends are the best. Always someone to hang out with, loads of compliments – and you can have sex without being called a slut.

DIANA

While that sounds…amazing, I'm giving it some time. No offence but the guys you hang out with are –

ARTEMIS

Never seen so many backwards ass country fucks in my life?

DIANA

Pretty much, yep. I mean, they're great as friends but I don't really see any of us together.

ARTEMIS

Then who do you want to be with?

Silence. It's kind of obvious.

DIANA

Eh. Maybe I'll just be a nun.

ARTEMIS

Ooh, like Whoopi Goldberg?

DIANA

Sort of. Less singing, more praying.

ARTEMIS

Ah, screw that, let's go get wasted.

DIANA

Maybe later. Time for school.

ARTEMIS

My offer still stands. I'm probably gonna get about eight detentions today so you know, I'm cool with skipping.

DIANA

I'm not. Two language tests and a new theorem in Maths. I'm not skipping. Anyway, no-one ever gives you a detention; all the teachers love you.

ARTEMIS

True. It's the curse of charisma.

DIANA

You poor thing.

She pulls the covers sharply off of Artemis.

Out. Let's go.

ARTEMIS

My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell.

DIANA

That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?

ARTEMIS

You liar, you said you'd watched it!

DIANA

I watch every movie you give me Missy, but not all of us have photographic memories that probably compensate for some deep emotional shit.

ARTEMIS

Fair play. Let's go then, we're gonna be late.

Diana rolls her eyes but humours her.

INT: MATHS CLASSROOM – AFTERNOON

Diana sits next to Mandy. Artemis isn't present.

MANDY

Hey, Di, what'd you get for question 4?

DIANA

Hmm. One sec. Well would you look at that, it says 'none of your damn business'.

MANDY

A simple 'piss off' would have sufficed.

DIANA

You know how theatrical I am.

MANDY

I know how theatrical Missy is…and I also know that you should probably have made some sort of personality for yourself before you latched onto her.

DIANA

We've been over this. She latched onto me. And she wouldn't be happy with you talking to me like this.

Mandy returns to her work.

MANDY (muttering)

Jesus, you guys are gay.

DIANA

You're just jealous.

MANDY

Accurate. Seriously though, you've been outed.

DIANA (slightly panicked)

What?

MANDY

Some little snitch from your lesbo club's been going around telling everyone that (puts on a high-pitched voice) 'Chalice and Prince are gay!'

DIANA

First of all, it's not a lesbo club. It's a place where we learn tolerance.

MANDY

Then why is Missy interested in it?

DIANA

I don't know. Do you think she's gay?

MANDY (only half-joking)

Well, she's never thrown herself at me so…

DIANA

Maybe you're not her type.

MANDY

And I suppose you are?

DIANA

Well by that logic we'd be together by now and we're not so bang goes that theory.

MANDY

Good point. So she's never told you why she wants to go?

DIANA

Nope. Maybe she just likes having a place where no-one in our class is. Where she's still notorious, but not quite as well-known.

MANDY

What do you do?

DIANA

It depends, really. We talk about current events, we write stuff, we play games, we –

MANDY

Touch each other?

DIANA

Real mature, Mandy.

MANDY

I am a lot of terrible things. Mature isn't one of them.

DIANA

This is coming from the girl who last week asked her Dad to buy her a car and that she'd use it to 'commute'. You live like fifteen minutes away.

MANDY

Fifteen minutes wasted. You know what I could be doing with that time?

DIANA (examining Mandy's hair)

Getting your roots done?

MANDY

Now who's being immature?

Her hand goes automatically to her hair.

They're not showing, are they?

DIANA

How can someone who's not a natural blonde be this stupid?

MANDY

My nanny dropped me on a concrete floor when I was a baby.

DIANA

So that's why your face is so messed up.

MANDY

OK, now it's getting personal. And I wouldn't enter into a bitch fight with me Di, cos you won't win.

DIANA

No, but if you'd stop hiding behind your tongue and let things get physical –

MANDY

You'd love that wouldn't you?

DIANA

Is that the best you can do?

MANDY

No, but I'd say I'm definitely the best you can do.

DIANA

And this is the part where you let me get back to my work. Thanks Mandy, as always, talking to you has been an education in itself.

MANDY

Do me a favour? Don't go running to Missy telling her I'm picking on you because she'll take your side and I'll end up very badly bruised.

DIANA

I accept bribes.

MANDY

I'm broke.

DIANA

You don't know what 'broke' means. I saw two hundred quid in your purse this morning.

MANDY

Yeah. I'm broke.

DIANA

Seventy-five.

MANDY

Deal.

DIANA (off-screen)

That wasn't the first time I'd blackmailed Mandy. I must have made a good thousand off her over the past six months. Were we irresponsible, grappling with those sums of money that we then spent on booze and fags? Yeah, we probably were. But I was young, starstruck – and I'd never had so much fun. As for the LGBT club, Artemis had apparently liked it the first time around because we'd barely missed a weekly session since. And it was fun. Intense, but fun.

INT: BLACK BOX – AFTERNOON

The LGBT GIRLS are doing a yoga exercise. MINNIE is dictating.

MINNIE

OK, now everyone grab a partner and we're gonna do some exercises.

One girl glances at FLORA and then walks out of the room.

Right. Flora, why don't you be with Diana. Missy, you and I are gonna demonstrate.

She and Artemis show the class an exercise and the others start doing it in their respective pairs.

DIANA (to Flora)

What was that about?

FLORA

She's kind of uncomfortable here. She's not gay, so…

DIANA

Are you?

FLORA

Yeah. I didn't want to come on my own.

DIANA

Is she the one who's been spreading rumours then?

FLORA

Quite possibly. Sorry about that.

DIANA

Want some advice? Maybe choose your friends more carefully.

FLORA

Aren't you friends with Missy?

DIANA

Problem?

FLORA

Never mind. Look, I am sorry. Maybe I won't bring her here again.

DIANA

Maybe.

FLORA

So what's your story? You gay?

DIANA

Can you keep a secret?

FLORA

I've had to keep mine for the last two years. You don't need to worry. Did you take Missy here then?

DIANA

Nope. And before you ask, I don't know.

FLORA

Wasn't gonna.

DIANA

Don't suppose you can tell me? You haven't got a gaydar or whatever have you?

FLORA

I wish. I mean it's easy to tell with like Minnie or Lissie cos they want you to know. But I can see why Missy wouldn't really be comfortable showing off about it.

DIANA

I guess. But why else would she be here?

They both look over at Artemis and Minnie who are having a great time, despite the fact that they are falling all over the place, Artemis yelling things like 'I'm the King of the world!'

I mean, she seems to be enjoying it.

FLORA

That's just Minnie. She's so great at making you feel accepted.

DIANA

True. But Missy isn't normally so susceptible to friendly environments.

FLORA

You like her, don't you? You know, like that.

DIANA

What makes you think that?

Flora raises an eyebrow.

Alright, alright. Maybe. But I've been down that road before. Nothing's gonna happen.

FLORA

What happened before?

DIANA

It was awkward, messy and complicated.

FLORA

Story of my life, sweetheart. You know, I've been to the school counsellor a few times. She's actively useless but it's nice to talk to something that doesn't say anything. Alternatively, you could get a fish.

Diana bursts out laughing and the two of them collapse on the floor. Artemis comes over and yanks Diana up by her collar.

ARTEMIS (aggressive, to Flora)

What did you do to my mate, bitch?

DIANA

Hey, hey. It's cool. Thanks for the pep-talk Flo.

FLORA (examining Artemis)

That's alright. Um, Di?

DIANA

Yeah?

FLORA

I really think you should get that fish. Just saying.

ARTEMIS

What fish? What's she talking about?

DIANA

In-joke. I'll think about it.

MINNIE

Alright everyone it's been a great day, you're all awesome, and same time next week. See you.