She stood silently by the balcony that was available in her condo, smoking away her troubles. Breathing in the smoke and exhaled it calmed her nerves a bit. The menthol from the tobacco calmed her mind that was slowly falling apart. Her heart; however, was less intact than her mind was. She blissfully remembered the happy days she had with her lover. Blissfully remembering, trying ever so hard to peacefully forget.
She sat down and looked at her bottle of beer. The woman wondered what had gone wrong, why did it have to end like it did today?
The ringing of her cell phone had pulled her out of her melancholy for a little bit. Her friend, Rica had called.
"What's up Rica?" The woman asked somberly, taking in more smoke from her cigarette.
"I knew it." A concerned tone came in.
"Yes, yes. I know Diana left the city." The woman said, annoyed.
"I'll leave you be. I know you don't want to see anyone at the moment. Just… promise to call me before doing anything rash." Rica replied in a sigh.
Tonight she would drink until she was satisfied. She would smoke until she knew she was intact. Tonight… she would be alone.
The woman's jaded golden eyes looked at the city lights. It was in nights like this… she held the woman she loved in her arms. She would kiss her again and again under the endless sky.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her? – The woman thought to herself.
"Come on Alessa! These fireworks aren't going to light themselves you know!" Diana cheered and beckoned to her lover.
Alessa found herself obeying to her lover. She left what she was writing to follow her girlfriend who was already among her circle of friends. Diana put Alessa's glasses down and kissed her. Alessa's friends cheered and hooted at the sight.
It was going to be an awesome new year.
"I love you." Alessa whispered to her lover.
"Mmm.. I love you too." Diana whispered back, pulling Alessa closer to her.
"All right! Let's light up these fireworks!" Joe yelled.
Alessa could feel tears trailing down her cheeks. Somewhere deep inside her wished that she could've just stopped time there. When she took the filter of the cigarette to her mouth, she wondered how long it was since she stopped smoking at her lover's request.
She wondered how much she would still actually do for the woman.
Tonight she would wonder and wonder…
Tonight… she could write the saddest lines.
"…So? What do you think?" Alessa asked nervously.
Diana had kept quiet, somewhat lost in thought.
"I knew it was going to be-"
"Beautiful, exhilarating, pulchritudinous, splendid, and magnificent?" Diana finished.
"That's taking it too far…" Alessa blushed.
Alessa had just shown her a manuscript for her new novel. She was surprised at all the praise she got from her lover. Diana chuckled at the flustered sight that was her lover.
"You're just too cute."
Alessa looked at the door where her lover left. It was then that she truly noticed that no one would go through that door to greet her "I love you", no one would go through that door in order to reach home, and no one would go through that door to embrace her. Alessa realized that she no longer had Diana.
Tears once again trailed down her cheeks.
The night is shattered and she is not with me. – Alessa thought sadly.
They lay naked in bed, simply enjoying each other's company. They muttered sweet nothings to each other.
"I love you." Alessa said.
"I love you too." Diana replied.
Diana began to sing… To Alessa, it was the most angelic voice to land her ears.
In the distance… someone is singing… in the distance. – Alessa thought to herself.
Alessa was going to miss her lover's beautiful voice; the voice that comforted her whenever she felt melancholic. Alessa began to feel the hit from all the alcohol she drank. She didn't care; she kept on drinking and smoking.
We, of that time, are no longer the same. – The woman thought to herself.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Alessa said in exasperation. Her voice was weakening.
"I'm sorry. I thought… I just thought that it would work out." Diana shakily replied.
"But… I love you…" Alessa said, tears were starting to form in her eyes.
"I love you too but…" Diana stopped, no longer having the strength to continue.
Diana immediately sprang for the door and left. Alessa could only hear the door closing, it replayed in her mind like some broken CD. She fell to her knees and simply stared at the door in awe.
Alessa loved everything about Diana.
How could one not love her great still eyes? – The writer thought.
Alessa would never forget her shoulder-length layered hair, her beautiful blue eyes, and her bright body.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes. – The writer thought. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Alessa stood from her chair in the balcony and stepped inside her bedroom. The writer thought that "Love is so short, forgetting is so long". Alessa faced her laptop and began writing.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
As Alessa hit a block to finish what she started. She felt herself utter an "I love you" which fell into no one's ears, she just wished for the wind to carry her message. She looked at her bedroom door as if to search for a person who no longer would come to her. Her heart… looked for her and she was not with her. And just like that she resigned herself to write the final line in her poem.
And these be the last verses which I write for her.
The poem belongs to Mr. Pablo Neruda. I simply incorporated some lines into the story, everything else plot-wise and character-wise are all mine. This hasn't been beta-ed so all mistakes are mine and mine alone. (_ _)m I just had to get this one out of my chest lol listening to the poem being read over and over again can do that to you lol. Anyway, reviews are welcome!