''Take my hand'' These words echoed deep inside my head, making me mad. ''Please be with me.'' Would he ever ask that of me? Lying on my bed, I wasn't exactly finding any peace. Nothing that would help me fall asleep. ''I want to be with you.'' He never responded to that. Changing the subject was an easy way to escape that defeat, however… Quickly shaking my head, I decided to not think about it. This thought lived for five seconds, before I dragged myself over to the computer. He was not on his computer. ''Why are you never here to protect me?'' A single tear rolled down my pale cheek as I whispered to myself. Naturally, I knew the answer. He was not mine to love. Suddenly, a message popped up on my screen.
Hello! How are you?
How was I? For starters, I wanted to hang myself. I felt like suffocating slowly, being denied to live. ''Why the hell are you talking to me so casually, after ignoring me feelings?'' My clenched fist trembled, and the whispered words died into the heavy air surrounding me. Come on, please write something! My hands refused to lift themselves, as I was a horrible liar. I couldn't tell him what I felt, not now. I stood up, and walked over to the window. The stars was glowing coldly up on the sky, mocking me all together.
Are you there?
I looked over to the computer, hearing the familiar sound that ringed out whenever I got a message. ''Please stop...'' Tears rolled down my cheek, one after another. The two of us could never be exactly that, us. It was hard enough to be denied the person I loved, but it had to be a boy. I started to get angry at myself for even daring to feel these emotions that were now killing me slowly. I never wanted to like another boy; I never wanted him to reject me. I never wanted to be alone either… I looked down on my wrist, which was cut up pretty badly. Not a healthy habit of mine.
I have to go, please call me when you see this, okay?
Call him? Did I really dare to do such a thing? No, I couldn't ever see him in the eyes again. ''Please...'' I moved over to the computer, and began to write. I didn't really think, I just wrote.
I need you…