Author's Note* Please review. A little funny and hard to describe.
My body vibrates, every cell shivering in attempt to have at least feeling again. I lay there on leaves and mud, river rushing by so loud it blots out thought. So all I can do is feel, first frustration and pain then despair. I gasp at the thin iced air so dehydrated that I can't cry for him anymore. Him… WHAT IS HIS NAME? I just don't remember I scramble for at least an image of his face. It is blurry, there's blonde and blue but I can't remember. His memory is dying in my mind. I'm so tired. It hurts to remember, you'd think it simple but now it's as if a riddle.
The memory is dying because I am dying. I find the strength to shed a tear and shudder. Images flash in haste as they begin deleting my mother's face, the ocean, my first love. He slips into the river and it's too fast and he says-
I can't remember what it is or who he is all I know is how I feel, but I can't comprehend; even ask; why? The water splashes up on my arms and it cuts me. It is hot compared to my body. The trees above me rustle with a taunting wind. I realize that when I push out my last breath the world, Earth will keep spinning. Life is still being lived just not mine. How selfish am I to long for five more minutes or warmth. I would bargain with the devil. I would give anything for life but I can't fight for myself anymore.
"You would….. With me….. Talk business…. Oh….. Save…..first" The deep voice faints in and out. I take my last breath with ho-….
-I wake up in a soft bed. The room is huge and strung in little warm lights, fire burns in front of me. Everything in the room is tan or brown except for the bed. It is giant, bigger than a California king and dressed in silks of dark orange, red, and yellows; the canopy is down around it with a light clear fabrics. I lay only taking a quarter length of the bed and sunk around mountains of insanely comfortable pillows. I am so warm and, and….. Alive! No this is heaven that's why it's so comfortable. I thought heaven was brighter, eh, I don't like bright anyway. I am dead, of course I am I remember dying.
"Heaven?" I whisper as if to ask the walls.
"Definitely not, no-"the voice is soft and low and completely calm as it chuckles and keeps speaking "this is hell, my dear."
A man steps from the shadows and dips under the canopy and sits down and stares at me. I let that last statement sink in.
"Oh, did I do something wrong?" I think back to my life but I can't-
"You said if you could live you would bargain with me."
"Did I say that out loud?" He nods. "Well I'm dead anyway." I shrug, it's not that bad.
"No you are not." I raise my eyebrow.
"Yes I am."
"Fine but you don't have to be, I can let you live, for the measly price of a soul.
"Yeah, and by let me live you mean, resurrect me and kill me five minutes later. No thank you. I'm fine with death it's nice. Look" I take a knife from the bedside table and stab myself. No pain or blood. "See that's way better than a human vessel."
"Chicken." I scrunch my nose at the angel.
"I want to go now, no soul for you."
"Why you could accomplish so much is you were alive. Become a world renowned doctor, famous."
"I can't do those things in the five minutes you'd give me."
"I-"he glared, "Fine at least stay for dinner." He insists waving his hand so the bed was filled with delicious foods.
"Oh, no thank you I'm not-" my stomach growled instantly when his mouth twitched, "hungry." He waited with a smirk.
"Ugh, fine!" He came to sit beside me against the head board as the plates and food started to move and serve by themselves. It's like Beauty and the Beast on crack. I thought this before he spoke again.
"Thank you for choosing to stay, it gets lonely here. My colleges are pieces of work-"I snort at that "and I have never met a human unafraid of me. It's" he paused "admirable."
"Thanks, I never turned down eating shady food caused by shady hunger, that's just me." I say this rolling my eyes as he smiles.
"So how is death." He turns to me staring intently as if he cares. I keep my guard up but I show no fear.
"It's nice maybe I should change my name to Bennet, I feel like I could be her sister." He chuckles watching my lips and I shake my head and remember angels have no soul. No soul. I repeat this as he speaks.
"You're very beautiful 'Ms. Bennet'" I smile as he hands me wine and my plate. I don't drink remembering the fairy and demon rule about offered food.
"You won't eat will you" he asks sighing.
"No" I smile sadly shaking my head, it is very rude. He takes my plate disappointed.
"That wouldn't have gotten you my soul just me to stay. I don't understand." I was confused about this. I watched his face.
"As I've said it does get very lonely. You would be a nice companion."
"No I wouldn't I'm human you hate us. Also even if you'd get passed that I'm not near intelligent enough to humor conversation with you." I was officially rambling and still confused.
"Ah but I believe you are my soul mate." I shake my head.
"You're an angel, you don't have a soul." I say this this softly but suddenly he is seething at me, nose to nose.
"I can still feel love."
"Love?" I ask this like it's something foreign I've never heard of. Bitch be crazy!
"I love you." His eyes soften, as his voice turns form anger to desperation.
"You can't know-"
"Yes I can! I have been watching you for a very long time." His hand reaches up to caress my face and my chest tightens because now I am afraid.
"Too fast!" that is all I can say for the moment but he waits patiently. "I was just in love with someone else so maybe-"
"Ugh! But I got rid of him! So we could be together!" He yells this grabbing my face before whispering "Don't you see?"
"Oh my god!" My jaw drops as it sinks in "You killed him, you planned this! You-"I gasp "You killed me."
"Our god has nothing to do with this, I doubt he approves. "He says this softly. I start to cry and crumple onto the bed but his arms hold me firmly to his barely breathing chest. We stay for hours like that. When he finally speaks it is only a whisper and it makes sense.
"It isn't like he didn't go to a good place, he did. You didn't love him anyway, you might not love me either but it doesn't change that you didn't love him." I nod in realization.
"Your right-"my voice is soft with the epiphany before harshing "I don't love either of you!" I sniff shaking out his arms and he lets me. I hear rustling behind me so I turn. When I see him there is so much sadness in his eyes as he lay slump on the bed staring into nothing ness; he mouths something. I scoot over to him pushing back his hair and running my fingers through it.
"What?" I ask softly leaning towards him.
"I failed." It comes out in a breathy whisper, barely audible. My heart learches and my breath catches. I sigh as tears bead at my eyes and I start to notice how odd he makes me feel. As if all my wires are short circuiting yet everything is running better than it ever has.
"No you haven't." I sit back away from him against the head board looking away.
"Really?" suddenly his body is pressed against my side eyes bright. I nod a stiff short nod. His hand is caressing the side of my face slowly pushing to look at him. My heart pounds and when we are staring straight at each other I notice him just as frightened as me. The he closes the gap and our lips press together in a chaste kiss. My eyes open all I can see is bright white, they shut again of their own accord before we pull away.
"I Guess I could stay awhile." I say grabbing my wine and taking a sip. He beams like a child on Christmas.
"It is very lonely here." He grabs and sips too.
"No souls!" I snap. He shakes his head eyes wide in fear, of what I don't know.
"Of course not. So-"he pauses biting his lip. "Will you marry me?"
"Too fast!" I yell putting my hand up. He frowns.
"Give it five minutes." He says and I smile.