There it came again, that feeling I thought I'd long forgotten.
The quickened pace of my breath, the tingling in my palms, my whole body shaking and aching, waiting for the climax. How I longed to slice open a vein and unleash all my pain, rid myself of the chains, let it all flow away. I can hear the beckons of my silver savior. It took everything inside of me to ignore the callings and let it all be. Push away the thoughts and indulge instead in silent reverie.
Fantasies of being what everyone really wants. Achieving perfection. Maybe basking in the limelight for once. Finding true love perhaps, someone to remain with, forevermore… "Stop!" No more. These foolish thoughts are clouding my judgement. I'm forgetting my ailment. All of this speculation, I should know that none of it will come to fruition.
Enough dilly-dally. I must not tarry. I have to go back to doing what I do best. Lay in rest and surrender to my silver savior's humble bequest.
"No!" It's not right. I have to fight. I can't keep letting this control me.
"It's too late. You're too far gone. There's no way back now."
Grab that blade, don't be afraid, remember you never want these scars to fade. Don't hesitate, not one bit. Slit that wrist, split that vein, like it's the bane of your existence. Don't you worry about that stain, it's not like anyone is going to notice your pain anyway.
Your silver savior is the only one that understands you. It gives you purpose, it's all that defines you. Succumb to it, it's the least you can do.