When Cupid Finally Comes.
How long can one go, never knowing love. In my life, I had endured nothing but hardship, after hardship, my heart breaking with each pain inflicted on my heart. Every day, is a day that I grow more and more cynical, never letting anyone close until finally what seems to be a layer of iron had coated my shattered heart, never letting anyone, not even those that have watched over me for my life, ever reaching it. As the pain grows, I even created a mask that while others look at it and see me smile, not a care in the world, my pain lies beneath, threatening to overwhelm me and hurt me. Even my mind, which was once whole and strong, now lies on the edge of insanity, bringing me to the edge of despair. It all seemed hopeless. Until you appeared.
I appear in a world, our faces unseen to anyone, and yet my mask and iron heart reaching even there as I regarded everyone with distrust and a pessimistic view, my years of being alone driving me to quit. Then you appeared, like the others, no face could be seen and neither could you see mine. My insanity was speaking through me as usual, on the verge of tears as I felt alone, even with people who claimed to be my friends, even though my cynicism was trying to and succeeding to convince me otherwise, and yet you spoke to me and me alone.
When you spoke, you not just spoke to me, you trusted me even in a world where trust is believed a dead thing. Despite thinking you would hurt me, I returned the trust, uncertainty in my actions. We shared words, and you showed me kindness, even singing to me in that world. I didn't know what drove me, but you singing to me, I couldn't help but to sing back in that silent world. Instead of laughing at me like many in the past, or even contempt, you showed affection. I didn't know what to think of this, in the past, people shown interest, but it was more along the lines of lust rather than real love. Then when I had been driven to depression, and revealed more to me, you did what no one else had succeded in doing. You shattered my mask, and managed to reach my heart through the iron that covered it. More and more you managed to reach me, and as you did, something bloomed in me, something I thought my heart had long lost the ability to feel. I had started to feel love.
When I returned to that world, I was unsure if you would return, my fear of being alone surfacing, then you came back. You continued to show me kindness, even showed feelings for me. It is still an unusual thing to feel love, and yet I enjoy this feeling and want it to continue going strong. Then you disappeared. As the days gone by, I grew more and more fearful, believing that like many others, you had forgotten me and that I would be alone again, but you came back, having never forgotten me. When you told me what was wrong, I became upset. You had eased the pain in my heart, you allowed me to feel love when I never thought I would, and I wanted to take what was wrong and be the one to bear it for you, so that I would deal with the pain for you.
Even now, when your pain keeps you away, I long to take your pain and be the one to endure it rather than you suffer from it. Even though that world that we met in grows harder and harder to be in, I still wait for you. Longing to hear you voice, even if it is silent in that world. My love will remain strong and I will always be there, desiring to get you to smile, willing to ease whatever pains you, and longing to free you of whatever comes to you and forces you to suffer. Here I stand, a sentinel, untouched by others, longing to feel only you hoping you come and touch my heart again.
Dedicated to those who never thought they would fine love, only to find the one who reaches their heart, as well as to the girl who reached my own.