one cut, two cut, three cut, four,

not enough, i need more.

five cut, six cut, seven cut, eight,

maybe i'll die at this rate.

nine cut, ten cut, eleven cut, twelve,

please keep bleeding, my pain can be shelved.

thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, six-

shall i go on? my arm feels heavy as bricks.

seventeen…eighteen…nineteen…twenty.

these scars will last, i can say that with certainty.

twenty-one…twenty-two…twenty-three.

my arms scream stop, the rest of me disagrees.

twenty-four…twenty-five…twenty-six…twenty-seven

maybe the next one will send me straight to heaven.

twenty-eight…twenty-nine…thirty-

well,

did i say heaven? i meant hell.

thirty-one…thirty-two…thirty-three

should i keep going?

thirty-four…thirty-five…thirty-six…thirty-

well no one's stopping me.

thirty-eight…thirty-nine…forty.

can't find an empty spot on my skin, holy..

forty-one.

what have i done.

forty-two…forty-three

no more short sleeves for me.

forty-four.

maybe one more.

forty-five.

how am i still alive?

forty-six…forty-seven..forty-eight.

can i please die? that would be great.

forty-nine…f-fifty.

Why am I still thirsty?