It was strangely quiet in the room;
Unnecessary quiet, for there should be celebration.
Instead of rejoicing in the bringing of a new life,
The world was acting indifferent.
Perhaps it was used to this sort of thing.
After all, babies are born every day.
But for her, life had shifted.
Now she had a new mouth to feed,
A new little person to teach and love and raise.
In her mind, the world should come to a standstill.
Her new little boy deserved it.
Now that exhaustion had passed,
All she wanted was to hold him.
To press him close to her, to smell him,
To make sure he is real.
But no, he was under the care of the hospital.
"You will see him soon," the nurse said,
Giving her a smile of sympathy.
The woman confided she had a two year old
And understood her desperation.
All she could do was wait,
And she hated it with a passion.
As she waited, she began to wonder
What life would bring her little boy.
With a smirk on her face,
She imagined his excitement at all of the toys
That were waiting for him at home,
Untouched, ready for love.
She pictured him playing outside,
Running around and chasing bubbles.
The largest smile in the whole world lit his face,
Warming her heart like the sun.
An image of his first day of kindergarten
Flashed before her eyes.
He would be clinging to her, crying,
Begging her not to leave him.
Begging her to stay with him
And keep him company.
Once she was gone, she would cry silently,
Locked up in her bedroom,
Away from the world.
Her little boy would adjust,
Make friends, and become popular.
His intentions would be sweet,
Even if he did unintentionally cause trouble.
Elementary school would fly by,
And he would soon be in middle school.
His life would be filled with the rocks of education,
And gaps replaced by sports and friendship.
Before her eyes, high school would approach,
And her little boy wouldn't be so little anymore.
He would make his own decisions.
Frowning, she wondered what he might be like.
Would his education be a major influence
On his everyday decisions?
Or would he lose interest in it,
Succumbing to peer pressures.
Suddenly, she was worried.
What if she wasn't a good mother?
What if she didn't raise him right?
The last thing she wanted was for her little boy
To harm himself until an early conclusion.
Closing her eyes, she tried to force away such thoughts,
For today should be one of happiness.
But, horrible fears consumed her mind,
Taunting her and telling of his failures.
He would become an addict,
Or become enthralled with the idea of racing.
Something would prevent him from reaching old age,
From getting married, from having kids.
The nurses found her huddled over,
Tears filling her eyes.
None of them could understand what was wrong,
But she refused to voice it.
No, it would be her burden to bear;
A reminder of her responsibility as a mother.