Can I Haz Turnabout?
Chapter 2 ~ Defensive Measures
Location: Second Strife Omega Court.
Time: 12:50 PM – July 7th 20XX -2
Map: law_courthouse_omega
Area: Defense-lobby

"Tick Tock, Ten minutes left till one o'clock." An anxious teenager stated.

"Stop counting already man, I'm already nervous enough." A glasses guy replied.

"Hey guys!" A third, younger voice shouted, "Let's listen to Tatsune Miku!"

"NO!" the first two shouted in unison.

After a few seconds of quietness, The first guy sighed, "I'm bored." And after a few more seconds, he threw a pair of sunglasses in the air and jumped up to grab them, trying to put them on while in the air and whilst doing a somersault, but faceplanted on the floor.

The youngest of the three stared at the guy as he asked, "Nairb, did Johnny just have a weird seizure or something?"

The second guy muttered, "I have no idea." Then, he shouted, "Hey Zwei! You okay over there?"

The person addressed as both Johnny and Zwei started twitching, then he sprang up to his feet and started speaking at an insanely fast pace.

"Name, Johnny Zwei! Age, late teenage years! Height, unsure! Weight, haven't checked in half a year! Race, I consider myself to be a hybrid. Blood type, I'm-"

"Stop freaking out, Return to Reality!" Nairb shouted as he slapped his friend.

"I see what's going on." The youngest one said as he started playing a song on his cell phone.

"Kirbyrai, what are you-"

"The name's Kirbyrai!" the young one shouted while posing dramatically, "While my avatar is small and my voice hasn't gone through that much puberty yet, I'm totally a teenager, really!"

Nairb facepalmed, "What is this, a character introduction chapter?"

Kirbyrai ignored him, "though I can sound young, if you give me a few minutes to tune my voice, I can do all sorts of characters!"

As Kirbyrai listed multiple characters, he switched his avatar to various different kinds and did many different impersonations and voices for two minutes…

"…And with my powers combined," Kirbyrai yelled as he changed into a muscular Admiral wearing blue, "I AM CAPTAIN SEEAAABASS FOOOOUR!"

Johnny finally recovered from being slapped and exclaimed, "Hey Nairb, now it's your turn! "

At that moment, Kirbyrai changed back to normal as well and agreed, "C'mon man, join us in this awesome live action video-game role playing stuff!"

Nairb sighed, "Fine, a little fooling around can't hurt anyone."

He put on a coat and a hat before starting, then triumphantly threw them off. "Do you know who I am?!" He shouted, "I'm Nairb [of ]! I'm the guy that's gonna burn down your house with combustible insults if you don't subscribe right now!

He then started to pose dramatically after each pause in his speech, "I'm an elite gamer! I'm a master musician! But most of all, I wield 24 different categories of special effects! Watch out evildoers, cause I-"

A hand grabbed onto Nairbs shoulder. Too terrified to move, he just stood there as a quiet voice spoke into his ear.

"Stop micspamming so loud or you'll be banned from the server."

The speaker was Bailiff Bot 5, an NPC that gaurds the courtroom from rulebreakers. She took the form of a security guard and appeared to be a woman in her thirties. "Now, I'm only warning you once. And the same goes the other two."

After making sure she had everyone's attention, she continued, "There are four minutes left before the court begins its next session, make sure you have everything together. Say your prayers to whatever gods, deities, or heroes you have, and good luck."

The NPC then began fading away, and a message displayed on-screen:

Bailiff Bot 5 has warped to the Prosecution's Lobby

The mood had completely changed from the silly atmosphere from earlier. The trio was completely flabbergasted.

Nairb shuffled nervously, "Hey guys? You think we can pull through this one?"

Johnny and Kirbyrai glanced around nervously.

Nairb spoke again, "C'mon guys, at least say something!"

"Well…" Johnny started, "You know how we tried to gather evidence after you got jailed yesterday?" He then motioned towards Kirbyrai

"You see," Kirbyrai continued, "Neku's trade plaza was kinda closed off from the public, and we didn't have a warrant or whatever, so…"

"Great," Nairb sighed, "zero defensive measures, I've got no evidence, no alibi, no proof, no hope."

Johnny patted Nairb's back, "C'mon man, when there's life, there's hope. If this game's court system rips off other games just as much as the rest of Second Strife, then we've got this."

"Yeah bro," Kirbyrai agreed, "we just gotta pull together, in stories like this the good guys always win. So let's stop being so depressed, we're the KrazyKompany! We're supposed to be spazzing out and having a fun time!

"Yeah!" Johnny yelled, "We got this, cause the heroes always prevail!"

"Unless it's a deconstruction…" thought Nairb.

The speakers in the room sounded off, and an old man's voice spoke through, "Attention defense and prosecution, get to the courtroom immediately. We are starting in one minute."

Kirbyrai opened the door, "Alright guys, let's keep in touch using IMs."

"Fine, just no spamming random messages," Nairb started.


Author's note:

JohnnyZwei here, and I gotta say, this is pretty fun. Writing myself and my friends is pretty easy, and they're fun to write.

I already got the okay from them, just to let you all know.

Also, see how many references you can find in this story! I meant to put more, but…whatever. Here's a hint though, I hid a reference to Yume Nikki in there, see if you can find it.

…go on…

What, do you want a cookie or something?