I'm used to rejection

I'm used to pain

But that message you sent me was such a dread

Like, I obviously know you don't have feelings for me

And that "we're just friends."

But you didn't have to literally spell it out to me!

"Goodbye? i like her, yeaa. more than just a friend. ur a friend. theres a difference."

Well every girl wants to hear that from their crush!

But of course, YOU'RE too oblivious to even realize I have feelings for you.

You think I like him

When in reality I like you

You're missing the hints

And aren't getting the nice gestures

You don't get why I'm really sitting with you at lunch

You don't get why I'm always talking to you

You don't get why I wait for you by your locker

Or the REAL reason I enjoy going to French class and always look forward to it

But most off, I like texting you because that's when we really connect

And we can tease each other while just having fun

And for just a little bit, its just 'us'

No need to pretend

No need to lie

I can just be myself

Back in 8th grade, I guess I always had feelings for you deep down

But I just never realized it

And yeah, I know I can be loud and talk a lot

And sometimes even annoying

But that doesn't stop me from liking you

I know, I am not your ideal of the "perfect girl"

And I can't be that

But I try

And then was the night our friendship changed

And no, I'm not talking about that day I finally answered your question after avoiding you for officially a month because I had a one day crush on you and didn't wanna tell you

But the night of 8/14 When I got that text message at 11:22 That read:"R u still up? plz still b awake"

When I read that, I knew something was wrong I was concerned because I knew Justin Murray wouldn't text me that for no appearent reason

And that he wouldn't come to me for advice

Out of all the people you could of came to

You came to ME for advice

That surprised me

But also made me happy because it made me realize that you depended on me to help you with your problems

And offer you advice

Even though I was jealous when you told me who you liked

And when you said you were still in love with your ex-girlfriend

And that you would be the happiest person in the world if she gave you your first kiss

I sucked it up because I didn't want you to know how I feel

And instead, I said that I was happy for you because I wanted you to realize I would support your decision in whoever you liked because as long as you were happy I was happy

I cared about you

It broke my heart when you told me "Well im in pieces."

Because you were upset and I couldn't help you no matter how hard I tried

I couldn't give you that first kiss you wanted...

And even though I freaked out when Asaiyah said that we were dating

I secretly wished that was true

You can't imagine the hurt I felt when Asaiyah told you that, all you said was "Eww!"

And let's not forget

The day we were walking to reading and Jeremy said "You guys should go out."

And do you know what you said?!

All you said was "I had to kill myself before that happens."

And deep down, that comment really hurt me

But I made it seem like it was nothing, like whatever because I knew it wouldn't have effected you or made you care

If you knew I felt that way I know

Your favorite color is blue

Your favorite candy is Reese's peanut butter cups

You even like them so much,

We have an inside joke about that

It's why have two when you can have four?!

You were born on June 16, 1998

And that you have blue eyes

But that's not all that I know

I know your favorite season is winter

And that your favorite sport is baseball

And not to mention,

You have a yellow Labrador retriever

Named Barker which you had and named yourself

Since you were five

And how could I forget, You love playing Xbox

And that one of your favorite games is Gears of War 3

And that you think Modern Warefare 3 is just retarded

But you see, I'm noone special

Just a hopelessromantic

Who hopelessly fell for you

And I know what I'm about to say is silly and sounds stupid

But, sometimes

When I realized it was 11:11

I wished that you liked me and had feelings for me

And yes, I knew that would never happen!

But I did that becuaseI had hope and didn't wanna give up

And all of this, how I feel about you and my emotions

It all doesn't matter to you

Even when you were in times of need

And didn't know what to do in a stressful situation

I was always there I gave you advice

And always tried to help you

But whether or not I did that,

It doesn't make a difference because

I'm just Bryana Mitchell

A friend

An Amiga

An Une Amie

Nothing more

And nothing less