I'm used to rejection
I'm used to pain
But that message you sent me was such a dread
Like, I obviously know you don't have feelings for me
And that "we're just friends."
But you didn't have to literally spell it out to me!
"Goodbye? i like her, yeaa. more than just a friend. ur a friend. theres a difference."
Well every girl wants to hear that from their crush!
But of course, YOU'RE too oblivious to even realize I have feelings for you.
You think I like him
When in reality I like you
You're missing the hints
And aren't getting the nice gestures
You don't get why I'm really sitting with you at lunch
You don't get why I'm always talking to you
You don't get why I wait for you by your locker
Or the REAL reason I enjoy going to French class and always look forward to it
But most off, I like texting you because that's when we really connect
And we can tease each other while just having fun
And for just a little bit, its just 'us'
No need to pretend
No need to lie
I can just be myself
Back in 8th grade, I guess I always had feelings for you deep down
But I just never realized it
And yeah, I know I can be loud and talk a lot
And sometimes even annoying
But that doesn't stop me from liking you
I know, I am not your ideal of the "perfect girl"
And I can't be that
But I try
And then was the night our friendship changed
And no, I'm not talking about that day I finally answered your question after avoiding you for officially a month because I had a one day crush on you and didn't wanna tell you
But the night of 8/14 When I got that text message at 11:22 That read:"R u still up? plz still b awake"
When I read that, I knew something was wrong I was concerned because I knew Justin Murray wouldn't text me that for no appearent reason
And that he wouldn't come to me for advice
Out of all the people you could of came to
You came to ME for advice
That surprised me
But also made me happy because it made me realize that you depended on me to help you with your problems
And offer you advice
Even though I was jealous when you told me who you liked
And when you said you were still in love with your ex-girlfriend
And that you would be the happiest person in the world if she gave you your first kiss
I sucked it up because I didn't want you to know how I feel
And instead, I said that I was happy for you because I wanted you to realize I would support your decision in whoever you liked because as long as you were happy I was happy
I cared about you
It broke my heart when you told me "Well im in pieces."
Because you were upset and I couldn't help you no matter how hard I tried
I couldn't give you that first kiss you wanted...
And even though I freaked out when Asaiyah said that we were dating
I secretly wished that was true
You can't imagine the hurt I felt when Asaiyah told you that, all you said was "Eww!"
And let's not forget
The day we were walking to reading and Jeremy said "You guys should go out."
And do you know what you said?!
All you said was "I had to kill myself before that happens."
And deep down, that comment really hurt me
But I made it seem like it was nothing, like whatever because I knew it wouldn't have effected you or made you care
If you knew I felt that way I know
Your favorite color is blue
Your favorite candy is Reese's peanut butter cups
You even like them so much,
We have an inside joke about that
It's why have two when you can have four?!
You were born on June 16, 1998
And that you have blue eyes
But that's not all that I know
I know your favorite season is winter
And that your favorite sport is baseball
And not to mention,
You have a yellow Labrador retriever
Named Barker which you had and named yourself
Since you were five
And how could I forget, You love playing Xbox
And that one of your favorite games is Gears of War 3
And that you think Modern Warefare 3 is just retarded
But you see, I'm noone special
Just a hopelessromantic
Who hopelessly fell for you
And I know what I'm about to say is silly and sounds stupid
When I realized it was 11:11
I wished that you liked me and had feelings for me
And yes, I knew that would never happen!
But I did that becuaseI had hope and didn't wanna give up
And all of this, how I feel about you and my emotions
It all doesn't matter to you
Even when you were in times of need
And didn't know what to do in a stressful situation
I was always there I gave you advice
And always tried to help you
But whether or not I did that,
It doesn't make a difference because
I'm just Bryana Mitchell
An Une Amie
And nothing less