A/C: These stories are only meant to make you laugh. Sure, some will have a theme to them. But all in all, Slash the Ferret is "Art for Art's Sake." Reviews are appriciated, good, bad, and the constructive. Thanks.
The Troublesome Trio
By Imagination Creations
"Keep 'em coming, Mr. Orzo!" Slash said, finishing off his second plate of spaghetti. He had traveled down to Tiny Tuscany, the best Italian restaurant in Jamestown and owned by Saber and her family: Chef Orzo, her father, Acini, her mother, and her little sister Angel. Tiny Tuscany made only Italian style food; if it was Italian, Tiny Tuscany had it.
Inside the kitchen, Orzo prepared another plate of his famous spaghetti for one of his best customers. "Order up!" he slid the plate out to Saber, Tiny Tuscany's waitress. She grabbed the plate and gave it to Slash. "There you go Slash." She said. Slash dug into the noodles without hesitation. Saber found Slash's indulgence quite gross… and fascinating. He never gained any weight from how much he eats. Girls would kill for a metabolism like yours, Slash. She thought.
"You sure are having a big lunch." Acini walked pass Slash with a clipboard of the business plans. Slash ceased his pig-out and wiped his face. "I'm spending the day with Dux and Oreo. Without a lunch, I'll die!" the Saber family always found Slash's sense of humor funny. "Speaking of which, I'm going to be late!" Slash pushed aside his plate and gave Saber the amount of money he owed. He jumped from his seat and rushed out the door. "Seeya everybody!"
Saber counted the money; seeing how it was the correct amount, she gave the money to her mother. Then, Acini followed up with this question, "When are you going to ask him out?" Saber's cheeks grew red and her eyes grew wide. Why do I tell my mom everything? "He's a nice ferret." Acini teased.
"MOM!" Saber shouted silently.
The park was bustling with activity as it does on any given day. Parents took their offspring there to play; others came to relax in the sun. Dux and Oreo came down to the park to meet Slash for their day out. He was taking too long however, so they decided to play a few rounds of catch. Dux kept his emergency tennis ball with him at all times for this exact situation.
"Alright Dux," Oreo smiled and readied her throw. "Go long!" she pitched the ball in the air and Dux made haste towards it. "I got it! I got it!" Dux repeated as his eyes never left the ball. He slammed into the jungle gym since he was not looking where he was going.
"Oh—You OK, Dux?" Oreo shouted. Dux gave her thumbs up.
Slash came running up to the small cat. "I'm here!" he huffed and puffed from running. Oreo looked angrily at the ferret. "We've been waiting for…" she looked at her imaginary watch. "A good half hour!" Slash smiled nervously. "I was in the middle of an epic battle between me… and spaghetti!" Oreo just dropped her head in annoyance. "So what did you have in mind for today?" she asked curiously. Slash opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. "Uh…" Slash vaguely said. "I thought you guys would have something planned."
"Guys!" Dux ran over to them. In his hands was an old shred of paper. "I found this!" Slash grabbed the paper and looked at it. "Oh dear dog!" Slash said. "I know what this is!" Slash shoved the paper in Oreo's face. She looked at it; it had a poorly drawn sketch of the town. "You know what this is?" he asked them.
Oreo answered sarcastically, "A five-year-old's drawing?" Dux followed up, "Uh…" Dux's mind worked too hard. "What is it?"
"This, my friends, is the map of the treasure I buried when I was five!" Slash answered his own question. Dux smiled widely; Oreo wasn't amused. "What's the treasure?" asked Oreo, putting her hands on her hips. Slash and Dux observed the map. "You know, I don't remember." Slash stated. "I remember it was something so valuable that it would decide the fate of my life forever." He said with a serious tone.
Images of wealth beyond her wildest dreams filled Oreo's head. "Well what are we waiting for?" Oreo grabbed the map and studied it. She noticed that the map was torn and incomplete. Coincidently their part of the map was the start of the trail. The start of the map started at the park and it headed towards the supermarket. "We're heading to the market!" Oreo smiled and pointed to the supermarket.
"Can we get a soda?" asked Slash and Dux. Oreo sighed.
Shelves at the supermarket were a perfect place to hide something. The employees at the supermarket did little maintenance in there. One could put something there and no one would ever find it. It was the first place the Troublesome Trio looked.
They separated into different ailes: Oreo took the cereal aisle, Slash took the aisle that was closest to the free samples, and Dux took the dog food aisle, slobbering over each bag of his favorite food. After several minutes, they regrouped. "You guys find anything?" Oreo asked. "Nothing." Replied the two.
"Think guys," Slash rubbed his chin. "Where's the one place that people in a supermarket wouldn't look?" Dux and Oreo thought as well. Then an epiphany came to them. "Management!"
Slash, Dux and Oreo ran up towards management offices. When they opened the door, their offices were dark, musty, and filled with cobwebs. "Jeeze… no wonder employees here quit…" Slash commented. Dux dived into the dirty mess looking for the shred of the map. Oreo leaned over to Slash, "He's half junkyard dog."
Digging into the mess, Dux eventually found the other shred. "Got it!" he showed them the other shred. Slash took it and gave it to Oreo, who taped it to her shred. "The next destination is… Barnyard Farms!"
There was no glamorous attraction in Jamestown than Barnyard Farms. They had a restaurant that served country style food, they was a lake to swim in, and games for the young visitors. Large, playful, and filled to the brim with plenty of stuff to do, Barnyard Farms was a sure moneymaker for the Barnyard Buddies.
The Buddies were a family of farm animals that lived and worked on the Farms. There was Henry Horse, Beefy Cow, Clucky Chicken, Porkins Pig, Carrot Cottontail, and the youngest, Bo Black Sheep. Each of them had a duty to perform and was important to the Barnyard Farms. Without even one of them, the Farms fell.
Constant visitors, Slash, Dux and Oreo were always welcome at the Farms. Lucky them because the admission to get into the Farms was crazy. Searching across the Farms, Slash looked in his favorite places first. Dux put on a scuba suit and searched the bottom of the lake. Oreo did a much more productive way of finding the shred. "You haven't seen a shred of paper anywhere lately, have you Carrot?" she asked Carrot Cottontail the rabbit.
"Now that you mention it," she said. "Slash did give me a shred of a map when I was five." She presented the next shred of map they were looking for. "He said it was important. So I never let it go." Oreo took it and taped it to the map.
"Thanks, Carrot!" Oreo shouted, fetching Slash and Dux.
Carrot just stood there, confused. "Ooookay."
The next destination did not make them happy at all. "You hid the last shred of the map in Bruiser's house!?" Oreo screamed. Slash could only shrug. "I was five. Even then Bruiser hated me." To Slash, it sounded like a great idea. No one went into Bruiser's house.
"Do you want to get beaten to a pulp?" asked Oreo.
Slash started walking away from her towards Bruiser's house. "Look, we can talk about the writer's poor story planning later." Slash mocked the writer of this story. "Let's just get the other shred and we'll be one piece closer to the treasure." Dux looked down at Oreo; both of them shrugged the situation off, and followed the ferret to Bruiser's.
Inside Bruiser's house, Bruiser finally found relaxing time for himself. "Yelling at everybody sure takes a lot outta you." he said, sinking into his worn out recliner. Inside the air vents, the Troublesome Trio made their way around his house. Slash remembered that he hid the last piece behind Bruiser's TV.
Opening the vent, Dux and Oreo shoved Slash out and lowered him down. He was dressed in a black suit with night vision goggles on. "Screw Mission Impossible!" he said to himself. "I'm going Splinter Cell on this!" the dog and cat lowered Slash behind the TV. Slash removed the frame and reached in.
Bruiser had noticed something wrong with his TV… a hand was sticking from the screen. "Is this one of those 3D channels I get?" he asked himself. Slash had retrieved the paper. He tugged on his line, and Dux and Oreo wheeled him upwards. Upon doing so, Bruiser saw Slash being pulled up. "Hey… Bruiser."
The annoyed beagle got of his chair. He grabbed Slash by the arm and looked angrily into his eyes behind the night vision. "Somehow," Slash said. "These make you more terrifying."
In the vents, Dux and Oreo heard Bruiser give Slash a beating. After he was done, Bruiser grabbed Dux and Oreo in the vents. With the three in his abnormally large hands, Bruiser kicked them out of his house.
The three land in the yard across the street. "I hope this is worth it Slash." Slash, with dirt and grass clumps in his mouth, mumbled, "So worth it." he attached the last piece to the map, completing it. The treasure was revealed. "The treasure is under the town?" asked Dux. "You mean the sewers?"
The sewers under Jamestown were not a very clean place. While Dux and Slash had no problem getting dirty, Oreo liked to keep her coat clean. She steadily watched where she stepped. "Where'd you hide this treasure, Slash!?" Oreo asked.
Slash followed his vaguely drawn map. Finally, they found something amazing. "Behold!" Slash pointed to an archway. It was lighted and had a warm, sweet smell to it compared to the sewer tunnel they were in. "I hid the treasure in this underground lair." Oreo dashed after the archway, Slash and Dux following her. They had finally found the treasure. It was a square prism covered in a cloth.
Oreo smiled widely, images of jewels or gold filled her mind. He ran up the steps and nabbed the box. She threw off the cloth, opened the box, and what lay inside shocked her. Her happy, excited expression faded. Inside the box was candy. "Candy?" she asked. "Candy!?"
"Oh, that's right." Slash remembered. "This was "special" candy my grandma gave me. I thought it would change my life."
"I spent the entire day looking for treasure… and what we find is a box of old candy!" Oreo shouted angrily. She threw the box of candy at Slash, hitting him on the head. Slash took the box and dug into it. Dux was right behind him, looking into the box searching for his favorite candy. "Oh," Dux said. "Candy corn."
Oreo could only look at her friends with an irked feeling. "I need a vacation…" she said.