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Characters:

Pepper Teach

Anna Cruz

Blackbeard

Bella Teach

QAR is at port after a battle. Blackbeard and Pepper are walking to a tavern called the Drunken Monkey. The guard person stops them.

Guard:

I'm sorry sir. That girl is to young to enter here.

Blackbeard pulls out a pistol.

Blackbeard:

Let th' lass' in or I`ll shoot.

Cut to inside the bar. Blackbeard and Pepper are inside, drinking.

Pepper:

You do reckon what ye did be pretty lily livered considerin' this isle t'ain't run by swashbucklers, right?

Blackbeard:

Aye.

A drunken Anna then bumps into Pepper. Pepper turns around and pulls out a pistol.

Pepper:

What th' hell?

Anna:

Oh, sorry I'm drunk.

Pepper face-palms

Pepper:

So be I.

Anna:

Not as much as me! By the way, do you know anyone who is signing up sailors?

Pepper looks at Blackbeard who smiles

Pepper:

My father an' I be...

Anna:

Great! Now, who are you exactly?

Pepper:

I be Pepper. Who th' hell be ye?

Anna:

Call me... Anna.

Pepper:

Alright Anna. Congratulations. Ye be now a jack.

Anna:

That's...

Anna falls to the floor.

Pepper:

Anna?

Anna wakes up in a hammock.

Anna:

Where the hell am I?

A person walks by her

Anna:

Excuse me!

Person:

Aye?

Anna:

Where are we?

Person:

Why, we`re on th' Queen Ann`s Revenge, me dear!

Anna:

Wait, you mean... Blackbeard's ship?

Person:

Duh!

Anna face-palms.

Anna:

Damn that Pepper! Where is she?

Person:

Most likely in th' lass' cabin fightin' wi' th' lass' older lassie.

Anna:

Great... Where is her cabin?

Person:

Right behind ye... Smart one.

Anna:

Oh

Anna turns around and walks through the door. Bella and Pepper are talking.

Bella:

Hey Pepper? Hey Pepper? Hey Pepper? Hey Pepper?

Pepper:

Shut th' hell up!

Bella:

That wasn't very nice...

Pepper:

I really dasn't care.

Bella:

You're the worst... Hey! A person! Hi person! Hi person! Hi-

Pepper:

Go bug Sheldon!

Bella:

Okay!

Pepper:

Wow. I wish I`d thought o' that two hours ago...

Anna:

You tricked me onto this ship!

Pepper:

Nay, Ye be loaded t' th' gunwhales an' didna ask what ship this be.

Anna:

That still does not give you the right to trick me.

Pepper:

I be a buccanneer. What do ye expect.

Anna:

So, you're Blackbeard's daughter then, eh?

Pepper:

Aye.

Anna:

Quite the charmer, aren't you Ms. Teach?

Pepper:

How`d ye like t' meet th' captain?

Anna:

… Sure...

The two walk to Blackbeard's cabin.

Pepper:

You look nervous.

Anna:

I know this. I'm about to meet the pirate that all pirates fear!

Pepper:

Shut up.

Just then, Blackbeard opened his door, drinking rum. The fuses on his beard are lit.

Blackbeard:

Hello Anna.

Anna:

Hi.

Blackbeard:

You look nervous.

Anna:

That's because I am.

Blackbeard:

Why would ye be nervous?

Anna:

I'm with pirates and I thought I would be with honest sailors.

Blackbeard:

What did ye expect? Ye met us when ye be loaded t' th' gunwhales... In a bar.

Anna:

Many honest sailors can be in a bar... though not many bring their daughters...

Blackbeard:

And have her miss out? Speaking of wich, Pepper, Sheldon needs your help with Bella.

Pepper:

SHIT!

Anna:

Well screw me sideways, the girl that's REALLY hyper?

Pepper:

Aye.

Pepper face-palms and leaves.

Anna:

Shit. I don't really like her...

Blackbeard:

Are ye sure ye wanna be wi' honest jacks? They dasn't generally approve o' lasses usin' that kind o' language.

Anna:

I don't give a shit. I can learn to hold my tongue... Oops...

Blackbeard:

Since ye seem t' like drinkin', why nay come into me cabin fer a drink?

Anna:

I guess so. It's not like you're gonna murder me...

Blackbeard:

Trust me. Thar be nay need fer me t' murder ye.

Anna:

Okay...

Anna and Blackbeard walk into Blackbeard's cabin and Blackbeard grabs two bottle of rum. He hands one to Anna

Blackbeard:

Here ye go.

The two drink in silence.

Blackbeard:

Where be ye from?

Anna:

Costa Rica

Blackbeard:

How old be ye?

Anna:

21

Blackbeard:

That's a sweet age.

Anna:

Yes. Yes it is.

Blackbeard:

Just ou` o` curiosity, be ye... spoken fer?

Anna:

Um... No?

Blackbeard:

One more question...

Anna:

Yes? What is it?

Blackbeard:

What do ye think o' me?

Anna:

Well, besides the fact that I find you perhaps... A tad scary, not too bad at all, Mr. Teach.

Blackbeard:

You, may call me Edward.

Anna:

Okay... Edward... What is your point in all of these questions?

Blackbeard:

Well, as ye know, bein' a gentleman o' fortune, 'tis nay very often I find an available lass that I can be wi'...

Anna:

OOOHHH... I see... So it's a lonely life, being a pirate?

Blackbeard:

Aye

Blackbeard takes Anna's hand

Blackbeard:

And I be constantly lookin' fer someone... fer... "company".

Anna:

If this is your subtle way of asking me for sex...

Blackbeard:

Aye. 'tis.

Anna:

Ah. I see... Right after you kidnap me and put me on a pirate ship, eh? Edward, you are a man of few methods...

Blackbeard:

`Tis a bit cliché but, how often does 't nay work?

Anna:

Touche

Blackbeard:

So, what do ye say?

Anna:

Asking a single girl for sex... subtle, Edward.

Blackbeard:

Sarcasm, that's original...

Anna laughs

Anna:

Yes, it is.

Anna frowns

Anna:

I have to warn you first-hand... I'm a virgin.

Blackbeard:

All me buxom beauties started ou' that way when I met them.

Anna:

That's real reassuring... Can I ask what happened to them?

Blackbeard:

Most o' them... Let`s jus' say me hearty Sastre got t' them. One o' them, Pepper`s mother in fact, port me an' now lives on a farm somewhere in th' new world.

Anna:

Oh, I'm sorry...

Blackbeard:

You know, a beautiful lass like yersef can help...

Anna:

Another subtle offer I see, Edward... But one question for you first.

Blackbeard:

Ask away...

Anna:

Why right after I fucking woke up?

Blackbeard:

I be jus' anxious.

Anna:

I see...

Blackbeard:

Aye.

Anna:

I suppose it would be nice... to at least experience it... And I've always wanted to get away from the church... They're a pain in the ass.

Blackbeard:

This be th' best way t' get away from them...

Anna:

Agreed. Secretely, I was hoping you guys were pirates. I need adventure in my life, you know?

Blackbeard:

Aye. I know.

Blackbeard gets closer to Anna

Blackbeard:

So? What do ye say? Ready fer a life o' adventure?

Anna:

At the side of the baddest pirate on the seven seas, hell yes.

Cut to later that night. Anna is leaving Blackbeard's cabin.

Anna:

That was odd... and fun... But damn, I'm starving.

Blackbeard:

Why dasn't ye dine wi' Pepper, Bella, an' I. `Tis th' only way t' get edible food on this ship...

Anna:

I take it the rest of the food is shit?

Blackbeard:

I think 'tis boiled shit actually.

Anna:

Delightful... I guess I could...

Blackbeard:

Come wi' me. Our dinner ortin' ta be startin' soon.

Cut to a dining room with Blackbeard, Pepper, Bella, and Anna sitting down to dinner

Anna:

So... nice food...

Pepper:

Thanks?

Bella:

Yeah thanks! The cook whose name no one knows for some reason works very hard on this food! We just call him cook because-

Pepper stuffs bread into Bella's mouth

Pepper:

Shut up and eat.

Anna:

And yet the rest of the crew eats shit...

Pepper:

That`s what we think. Oh, an' if ye`re still hungry after dinner, be havin' th' cook cook this fer ye.

Pepper hands Anna a sachel

Anna:

Okay... It's empty...

Pepper:

Aye?

Anna:

The satchel... What's the cook going to cook? Air?

Pepper:

No... He`s goin' t' cook th' sachel.

Anna:

Wait, what?

Pepper:

Don't be stupid!

Blackbeard:

Pepper, be nice!

Pepper:

You`re one t' talk about nice...

Anna:

I'm sorry, Pepper... You're right... I'm new to all this 'Pirate' stuff, though...

Pepper:

Don`t be a horkin' pussy! Stand up fer yersef!

Anna:

Don't fucking yell at me! You want me standing up?

Anna gets up from the dinner table

Anna:

Fucking fantastic, I'm standing up... Good night to all of you.

Anna leaves the room.

Blackbeard:

Pepper!

Pepper:

I'm out of here!

Pepper leaves. Blackbeard looks at Bella who just shrugs and keeps stuffing her face. Cut to Blackbeard's cabin. Blackbeard walks in to see Anna laying on his bed.

Blackbeard:

I'm sorry about Pepper. She's usually fairly nice...

Anna:

Define 'Nice' for your people to me. And I guess she was right. I'm a pirate now, aren't I...

Blackbeard:

If ye`re on this ship? Probably.

Anna:

Yeah...

Blackbeard:

And as fer Pepper, dasn't take 't th' wrong way. She usually t'ain't so explosive towards swabbies she jus' met.

Anna:

Perhaps she senses what we did... I was pretty loud.

Blackbeard:

Maybe... An' I`ve been wi' louder so... I be sure she didna hear us...

Anna:

That's reassuring.

Blackbeard:

Be ye okay though?

Anna:

I like to think so... So yes.

Blackbeard:

That's good...

Anna:

Very...

Blackbeard:

Come on, let`s be seein' if we canna get ye two gettin' along?

Anna:

Sure.

Blackbeard and Anna walk to Pepper's room. Blackbeard opens the door to find Pepper, face down on her pillow with a drink in her hand.

Blackbeard:

Pepper?

Blackbeard walks up to Pepper who doesn't seem to be breathing. He grabs her and turns her over.

Blackbeard:

Pepper, wake up!

Anna:

Is she okay?

Blackbeard:

I think so... She might jus' be loaded t' th' gunwhales. Get me a bucket o' water please!

Anna:

Okay...

Anna runs out of the room. Pepper then opens her eyes and starts breathing. Blackbeard hugs her

Blackbeard:

Pepper! Ye know better than t' scare me like that!

Pepper:

I be sorry papa. I be drinkin' a bit an' must be havin' passed ou'.

Blackbeard:

Pepper, ye`re nay ye today.

Pepper:

What do ye mean papa?

Blackbeard:

You snapped at Anna, an' ye usually dasn't pass ou' until three hours after dinner! An' usually, ye pass ou' lyin' on yer aft, nay face.

Pepper:

So?

Bella walks in

Blackbeard:

What's wrong?

Pepper:

Nothing...

Blackbeard:

I mean it! Tell me!

Pepper:

Tell you what?

Blackbeard:

What`s wrong? Ye`ve nerehad a problem wi' lasses that I-

Pepper:

Nothin' be wrong! Canna ye jus' leave me alone about this?

Bella walks up to Blackbeard and whsipers in his ear

Bella:

(whispering) Do you think it might just be her "special" time of the month?

Blackbeard:

Nay.

Bella:

Hey Pepper, is your "special" time of the-

Pepper:

Nay.

Bella:

Okay so that wasn't it. I guess-

Pepper:

Shut up Bella!

Blackbeard:

Talk as much as you want to Bella.

Bella:

Nah I'm tired.

Blackbeard gets up to leave

Blackbeard:

Then I'll let ye sleep.

He hugs Bella and Pepper

Blackbeard:

If ye wanna talk, ye know 'ere t' find me.

Pepper:

Good night.

Bella and Pepper go to sleep and Blackbeard leaves the room. He runs into Anna on his way out.

Blackbeard:

Let's give 't some more time.

Anna:

I'm going to bed...

Blackbeard:

I think I'll join ye.

Anna:

Do you really think that will be helping this situation?

Blackbeard:

For me? Aye.

So, let me know what you think so far. I put allot of work into this and, the chapters are more like episodes (This one is gonna be two-part) and the "books" are like seasons.