Why Is A Raven Like A Writing Desk?

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said the King to his Queen,
As he viewed his own heart
In her hands.
She was the Queen – of Hearts, no less –
And so she owned them all.
Every heart in Wonderland was hers,
Save from one.

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said Alice to the mouse,
As he told her the sorry affair:
The Hatter, driven mad with love,
Had invited his Queen to tea.
But she cut out his heart,
And his love was gone away with her.
However his madness remained,
And none knew what had become of him.

So Alice went back for him, she went on her way.
She set out to find him.
She ignored the squealed warnings of the mouse.

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said the Queen to her spies,
"Surely she must know of the dangers she faces?"
"Ah, but your majesty,"
They said as one,
"Her heart is pure. And she has, it seems, been moved."

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said the cat with a grin,
As Alice wandered through Wonderland,
Asking all who came before her
Where the Hatter dwelled.
But none of them had
The heart to tell her,
And besides, none of them knew,
And so Alice continued alone.

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Alice stopped with a start,
As a peppermint breeze
Lifted her off her feet
It led her a little way
Before it fell to earth,
Shattering into a scattered
Sea of leaves.

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said the spies to their Queen,
"We've never seen one like her before."
"It matters not,"
The Queen rolled her eyes
And promptly tucked into another tart.
"Just watch her."

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Pondered Alice, as
A hare bounded towards her.
"I haven't much time, just know you are close,"
He spluttered through battered lungs.
"Do what I couldn't, Alice. Save him."
He collapsed at her feet,
Unable to say another word.
And the trees soon made sure
He would never speak again,
As the March Hare met his Death:
Strangled by his own ears.
Ears left bleeding by the sounds
Of Alice's screams.

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said the Queen,
As she watched the girl
Through her looking glass.
"Hers is the last heart I need,"
She said with malice,
"For then I shall truly be the Queen of Hearts!"
"Be wary, majesty,"
Said the cat at her knees,
"For you may harden her heart of gold, and turn it to one of stone."
All he received in reply
Was a cackle.

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said a wide-eyed Alice,
As a wall of smoke blocked her path.
She took a breath and plunged into the unknown.
And that breath was almost stolen away,
As her nose was assaulted by the stench of gasoline.
And then her eyes fell upon him:
Covered in tea stains and
Half buried in shattered china.
There her hatter lay alone.

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said the Queen to her slaves.
For though she owned
Every heart in Wonderland,
She knew nothing of love.
And as she watched the girl –
Her blue eyes wide with fear –
Stroke the man's face and take
Her place in his arms,
Her own heart broke in two.
She raised a hand to her chest,
And felt the ache the absence of a heart brought.
The blood in her veins froze,
And she fell to her knees,
As fire engulfed the pair
In the looking glass.

"Curiouser and curiouser,"
Said the cat to the rest.
The woman who stole
Hearts for a living
Had a lump of stone for her own.
And that heart of stone was melted
By a fire fuelled by passion and gasoline.

And so the every curious
Realm of Wonderland
Grew curiouser and curiouser still.