With my life in turmoil and uncertainty,

I'm unsure fo my heart's integrity,

Where do I go? What do I do?

I can't always rely on you!

How do I forget the past and pain?

When everyday seems so full of rain,

With no end, no light in sight,

How do I know what I do is right?

With no trust or belief in myself or actions,

When all I do seems an infraction,

Nothing right have I been able to do,

Yet life just seems to carry thru,

I try so desperately to forget the past,

And try to go on with my life atlast,

But memories and ghosts keep haunting me,

When will this end? When will they let me be?

All the hurt, pain and sorrow,

Without end in sight, not even for tomorrow,

No ray of sun, no ray of hope,

The answer doesn't lay in liquor or dope,

So for help where do I turn?

For peace and serenity I deeply yearn

Companionship I'd like to find,

I guess I'm just not that kind,

When I do find someone to give my heart,

It never fails, it always falls apart,

I see my friends, my family so deep in love,

I keep asking the stars above,

To find true love and happiness that I so long,

Yet they elude me, what do I do that's wrong?

For acceptance and care I intensely want,

Could it be my past that always haunt?

By myself I guess it seems,

Is what the Lord so deems,

That for the sins of my past,

I'll be alone until the last,

I guess this punishment comes loud and clear,

No need for anger nor any tears,

What's handed me, I must accept,

No need to rub it in, I am quite adept,

I guess this is my lot in life,

No peace for me–ONLY STRIFE!