Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Part I

Would you give this to me in case I failed to meet your hopes up? I wish you do. I promise that I would change for the sake that our friendship would last forever. Yes, friendship they say. I don't like to change it into relationship because we might be in distant—flamboyant scenarios are over. "Can't we still be friends?" that exchange of ideas still captures every distinct moment I had with you. "Can anyone ever truly be friends again after a break up?" Remember, I gave you everything I had. In turn, you learn everything about me—every significant fact. But suddenly, they disappear. Why? Where is that everything I gave you? They aren't yours anymore and you are somehow supposed to talk to them. There will be awkward pauses where the "How are you" used to go and the colorful conversations will become dull and painful. And even if years pass, you still won't talk normally because talking to them at all will eventually remind you why you fell into a friendship with them in the first place. But is it our fault when we went to this part in our lives? I think yes. I don't know, it's just so hard to say these things to you out loud—let me just burst this crap into river of tears. Don't you notice it? Everything starts to fade and your body is anesthetized. And when you wake up in the morning, you're in the house all alone, feeling like a vast of an empty ocean. Everything seems looked like a dream in a natural state. Our moods change. Our lives change. Our feelings for each other change. Our bearings change. The song changes. The air changes. The temperature of the shower changes. Accept this. We must. It may take much of your time but things will get better eventually. Everybody needs someone who will take them for who they are and accept flaws that would be treated as perfection. If I end this article, would you talk to that person that meant a lot on you? Or is it one of those nevermind that I guess one of those "I miss you", "I need you", "I'm sorry" days? Even though we accidentally get on this situation, I will be here always for you. I know it has been tough, but I'm still cheering for you—wishing you the best always.

Part II

Memories radiate the angles of my wits. Misty picture memoirs of the way we were. Strewn pictures of the smiles we left following. Smiles we confer to one another for the way we used to be. Can be that all so simple then or has time rewritten every streak? If we had the chance to do it all once more, tell me would we? Could we? Memories may be beautiful and yet what's too excruciating to remember is that, we simply choose to forget. Memories are bullets at times. Some zip by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces. Stop wasting your tears on someone who didn't care enough to make you smile. So it's the hilarity we will remember whenever we remember the way we were. Am I wasting my time talking to you? Maybe everything was meant to be this way. I know I get too attached when you were all I could think about every day. Maybe this time, I'll get myself off of the floor and try to pretend that things are getting better, that I'm changing. But deep inside, I still feel the same. Perhaps I was naive that I got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance of telling my thoughts—thoughts that made me enough of the things that make me nervous and sad. It's like one day you flipped a switch and became someone I never knew. No matter how long it's been, there are still times when I think of you and suddenly nothing ever happens like I imagine it will. I can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Too scared to be alone, too scared to open up; but what's the sense? People always leave. Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's going to hurt because it matters. Never ever, ever, give up. Push your boundaries. Sometimes, you will never know how a true worth of a moment until it becomes a memory. Don't cry, I know you are trying your hardest. When there comes a time that they will ask, "Are you okay?" I will just utter in my mind, "It's not like you care, do you? Cause to you it's whatever right?" I just don't want to tell my societal status I am in right now. Because I hope someday they could realize that there wasn't anyone in the world who bothers to talk about my problem. They would want to know its situation and just don't care. That's the reason why I gave up on you. Not because I don't care but because you don't. And someday, I will be strong enough and just forget about that person you once loved and move on. Yeah I'll get over it eventually and maybe even really soon but that doesn't make it hurt any lesser right now. Isn't it hard to move on? You're just bummed out by the fact that you're not that special person to them anymore. We don't want to look like fools chasing after them—especially if they are happily taken with someone else. Trust me. Don't get too attached because there is too much to lose. Shattered hopes? Things change, friends leave. Who cares? Life does not stop for anybody because at the end of the day, all we have is who we are. I can't leave you. Why? I love you this much. If someone means enough to you, you can always make it happen. The only reason people don't find their own successes is because they give up too soon.