I never meant for you to die that day

Everyone thinks it was suicide; at least that's what the newspaper said. Then Alexis told everyone it was probably because of a girl, now everyone blames me because I said no to going on that date.

I really did want that date though. I only said no because Alexis told me to be hard to get. I regret listening to her. I lost my best friend because of it.

I know how you really died. I never should have gotten you involved. They were my problem; they didn't need to kill you.

You never should have gone to the docks alone. I told you that but you never listened. Some days I hate you for that. Then I remember you're dead and I cry my heart out for hours.

I guess I'm alone again. The Society backed off since your death, remorse time maybe. I don't really understand their motives. You told me I was different and they didn't like that. I don't understand how I'm different though, you never told me.

I wish you explained things more instead of lying. It would have made me feel a bit better about being threatened. At least I would have known what I was doing wrong.

At least I could have changed to make them go away.

Although even that wouldn't guarantee that they would leave me alone.

I guess I should stop making these videos. It's pretty pointless, pretending to talk to your dead best friend. My mom would definitely think I was going insane if she found out.

The thing is though, I don't really want to stop making these stupid pointless videos. They make me feel better about the fact that I'll actually never talk to you again.

I miss you like hell. And I wish you were still alive, then we would have had that forced date by now.

That would have been fun.

But now it will never happen, and I'm sorry for that.

Some days I wonder where you would have brought me and how exactly you would force me on a date. It wouldn't take much. I would go willingly, but like I said it will never happen now.

I guess I should try to get over that fact, it will never happen but you always told me to try before admitting defeat. I need to listen to your advice at least once in my life.

I'm seriously done now, time for a new life at a new school. What happened in the past, what happened to you, is over now. Making this video made me feel better but I still wish I could tell you all this for real.

I guess there is only one thing left to say.

I love you.

I walked alone down the sidewalk of a busy street. The cars sped, one by one, past me. It was a September morning and Mother Nature decided it needed to be raining on my first day at a new high school.

I hated moving, although I was happy to get away from my past. Away from the horrors that erupted last spring. Everything, my whole life fell apart all at once. It was a living hell.

My parents finally realized how much pain I was in and decided to move for my sake. Now I had to make new friends when I didn't really want anyone close to me. They might end up most of the others; backstabbing demons.

I guess I shouldn't compare everyone to the bad people I ended up with. That was my mistake, no one should be judged because of it. But it was hard to think of anyone as nice, I learned how to read people's true colors.

Ever since I can remember I've heard voices in my head. They were only every my families voices, the people I were close with. But last fall another person's voice joined the group, my best friend Darren. It was him who finally made me realize I could read minds. Before him it was only bits and pieces, but I had full access to his mind and he didn't care. He knew about my power and promised not to tell anyone as long as I kept his secret too.

He could read minds also.

When I found out I wasn't the only one I was ecstatic. It was the best day of my life. Darren told me stories about a society where everyone has supernatural powers. It sounded amazing and I wished I could meet others like us but Darren told me it was a bad idea. I didn't understand why and he refused to tell me.

However it didn't take me long to understand his concern.

One day in mid January I got a letter. This letter told me to stay away from Darren because I was a bad influence. There were many threats in it too, saying they could make me go away if I proved to be a problem. The letter was simply signed 'The Society'. I didn't really understand what the Society was. It scared me though, so I stopped hanging out with Darren so much.

A couple of months passed and Darren confronted me. He wanted to know what he did wrong, what made me stop talking to him. He was angry but not at me. He was fixed on the thought that it was his fault.

I showed him the letter. Just to show him that it wasn't his fault, that I was just scared.

Then he got mad at me.

He asked why I didn't tell him, why I would hide something like getting threatened. I don't think I ever heard him swear so much in such a short amount of time. Although like before it wasn't at me. He was still mad with himself.

In the end Darren took the letter and told me he would handle it. He also told me to just pretend it never happened, that he would fix everything and I wouldn't have to worry.

For some stupid reason I believed him.

Neither Darren nor I talked about they letter for a month. Then April rolled around and I got another one saying that the Society was seriously going to take me out of the picture if I didn't stop being Darren's friend.

This time I showed it to him immediately. Darren looked unhappy and just ripped up the letter and threw it out saying he would kill anyone who came near me.

After that him became an oddly angry person and quite paranoid. Whenever we were hanging out he would be constantly looking over his shoulder.

It got quite annoying.

Then one day he randomly asked me out.

I didn't know what to say and was at a loss for words. Then I remembered Alexis telling me to be hard to get so I jokingly said no. Darren smiled at me and said that asking me was just a formality and that he would force me to go on a date if he had to.

I would have been perfectly fine with that.

But Darren never got the chance to force me on that date.

A couple of days after Darren asked me out I got an email telling me to go down to the local docks at 10pm the coming Saturday.

Darren, who was there when I read the e-mail, told me not to, under any circumstance, go to the docks. I agreed and told him that he wasn't allowed to go either.

If only he listened.

Early Sunday morning I got a phone call from my dad's best friend, who also happened to be a cop. He told me the found the body of a boy at the docks who about my age. The boy had a gun in his hand and a bullet hole in his head.

It was Darren.

I literally cried for days. I barely had the energy to go to his funeral, which I also cried through. I was just a mess for months. When I eventually went back to school a couple of weeks after the funeral I was greeted with harsh bullying and lame insults.

Why? I was blamed for Darren committing suicide. I said no to going out with him and he got depressed over it.

Well, that's what Alexis told everyone anyway.

It wasn't true of course but only I knew that. Only I knew that it was probably the Society that killed him and made it look like suicide. It was useless information, I couldn't tell anyone.

After the school year ended my parents told me that we were moving because of my dad's job. I knew that was a lie, they just wanted me out of the bullying situation. I didn't argue with them despite the fact that I didn't want to leave my hometown. I told myself that I would go back though, but only when I had proof that Darren's death wasn't my fault.

If I ever got proof that is.

As I spent half the summer alone not knowing anyone I got into quite a weird habit. Whenever I was feeling extremely bummed out or flat-out depressed I would make a video. The weird part was I would talk like I was explaining everything to Darren, as awkward as that is. There was only a few of these videos, but if anyone were to see them, well, my life at my new school would be ruined.

I did not want my new life to suck.

At my new school I could be whoever I wanted to be. The Haven who's best friend got murdered was gone, the new Haven would have to be a million times better if I were to make any friends.

Then again I almost didn't want any friends. Even thinking about having new friends made me miss Darren.

Actually everything made me miss Darren.

But I had to be strong, if I showed weakness I would only get bullied again. That meant no one could know my best friend was dead. They would do research and they would figure things out. That would be bad.

As I got to school I looked up at the large brick building and sighed. My life was about to get confusing again and all I could do was tell myself that thing couldn't get worst than Darren's death.

Hopefully I wasn't wrong.

NOTE: New story I started, don't worry it will get better, I promise. The next chapter will be out after I finished the next Paw Prints chapter (which is about 50% done). Please review.