three. ryan.

i want to know what's in your head. i want to know what made you care. i want to know why you stopped saying "i love you." i want to know what you were thinking the day you lifted me on top of you so i could kiss your neck more passionately, but then just kept watching friends like i wasn't even there. i want to know exactly what he said to make it so hard for you to touch me. i want to know what it looked like when you saw my breasts for the first time. i want to know how much it took to not put your arms around me when we were in line for the concert. i want to know why i sometimes catch you looking at me so intensely, drinking the sight in as though you know something i don't, like i won't be here much longer. i want to know when you fell in love with me, and what makes me so different from the others. i want to know if you even meant it in the first place. i want to know what kept you quiet, what made you say yes, what you weren't saying last night. i want to know why you can't trust my judgement, why you wouldn't dance, why you won't fight for me. i don't know, and that kills me. i want to know why i don't know - why you won't tell me. i want to know what you're thinking, why you're fading. i want to know, i want to know. please, tell me.